for you to hear

SXSW Film Festival Midnight Bumper

2010-03-26T17:09:00.000-05:00

SXSW Midnight Bumper from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

Lost

2010-03-24T20:27:00.003-05:00

Teachers have fears.

Some are little. Being late to school. Forgetting your lunch. Locking your keys INSIDE the filing cabinet. Forgetting a parent's name.

Some are HUGE. Car/bus accidents on a field trip. Losing your temper with a student. Illness in the classroom. Weapons. Disease. Injury. Abuse. Intruders. Abduction.

Today I lived out one of my worst fears.

This morning I took attendance with all students present and accounted for. Good. I began the morning routine of checking assignment notebooks, collecting homework, posting lunch count, and because this is our standardized testing week...I distributed test booklets and answer documents personally to each of my students.

As I began to quiet the class and go through morning announcements, I notice that one student has not returned to his desk. I assume that he is at his locker and continue on with announcements. When that task is completed I begin to go down the lengthy, scripted directions of the mandated test, irritation at his lengthy delay mounting.

I continue reciting my script while walking towards the door to hurry this young man out of the hallway. Glancing around I see that the hall is empty. He must be in the bathroom. I am annoyed that he did not ask for permission to go to the bathroom but I know that the strictness of the testing this week has confused more than one student into breaking our established routines. Still, it is odd that THIS particular student went without asking. He is the type of student who waits to say goodbye to me everyday so that I will personally dismiss him. I shrug off his behavior for a minute, complete the directions, and my class begins the first test of the morning.

I glance at the clock. It took five minutes to get the test started. He really should be back from the bathroom by now. I figure if I go down there now to check on him I will be able to get back before my fifth graders come to a question that they need my help with. So I rush to the restroom. No one is there.

I check the other bathroom. Empty.

I check the bathroom that the primary students are never supposed to use. Nope.

I go to the office, the book fair, the Library, computer lab, lunch room, and the talent show coordinator's room. No one has seen my student.

I run back to my classroom. Every head is bent dutifully over their desk. But there is still one desk empty. My principal is out of the building today. I speak with the secretary she continues to look and calls his parents. No answer.

I ask his friends if they know where he went. I check his assignment notebook, yep, there is my signature right next to his, so he was here this morning...I didn't just dream that up, or THINK that I saw him. He was just right here. And now no one can find him.

I tried to dream up explanations that would make sense. I checked my e-mail. No note from parents. I checked his file, no appointments scheduled. Is he hurt? Is he sick? Did he leave? Was he taken? Is he hiding?

I wrung my hands and prayed. Mostly just pleaded, "Please, God, help him be ok. Please. Please.Please.Please.Please" I didn't know what else to say.

Time crawled on. I answered trivial questions about word meanings and grammar rules. The office said wait and started to search the building room by room. Just as the police were called, my missing student returned...from a dental appointment.

You see, he is staying with his grandparents while his mom and dad are out of town (that's why they didn't answer their phones). No one thought to tell the school. They came to school this morning to drop off his sibling and he came into the classroom to unpack is book bag. That is when I checked for attendance, signed his notebook and gave him his test booklet. Then he left with his grandparent for the appointment. They didn't think to tell me, because they didn't think the day had officially started yet.

*HUGE sigh of relief*

I'm not even mad. I am just so glad that he is fine.

A Little Privacy

2010-03-10T17:14:00.004-06:00

There is a window in my bathroom. IN my shower to be more exact. Now at first, I must admit, I thought that this was the stupidest feature of my new home. I mean, obviously, a little privacy is expected when it comes to the bathroom.

Plus, the previous owner had installed inexpensive plastic mini-blinds in this window. Now, I don't know if you have ever had the pleasure of cleaning mini blinds but I consider it a major hassle. And as soon as I saw them in the shower I thought, "Mold, mildew, and shampoo/conditioner residue." This spelled disaster. So I immediately set out on the hunt for other privacy options.

I headed out the the local Lowes/Menards/Do It Best/Home Depot looking for peel and stick window covering. I had it in my head that there was a product out there similar to contact paper but with a little more of a translucent quality so that I could still enjoy the benefits of some natural light in my bathroom (a HUGE newly discovered treat!). But all I could find was some window cling that had to be applied with a special paste and cost upwards of $16 per roll. All I needed were two little rectangles to cover ONE SMALL window. I purchased some begrudgingly, and hoped that I would find my dream product else where. The search continued.

My dad finally found some at an Ace Hardware...and just as I hoped, it was easy, peel and stick! It is from the "Frosty" line of Con-Tact Brand and was only about $2 per roll. Of course, I quickly returned the expensive and complicated-pasty-window-cling!

I love finding just exactly what I want. Now I have a little privacy. Plenty of natural light. And I am thinking that putting a window in the shower wasn't such a dumb move after all.

Oven

2009-10-23T21:56:00.000-05:00

I used my oven for the first time.

And what did I choose for the christening meal?

A frozen pizza.

How typical.

How sad.

I promise to use my oven for good in the future!

BTW this is the first oven that I have had that has a window and a light! I find both of these features absolutely fascinating. :)

Hook-Ups

2009-10-20T22:03:00.000-05:00

...Of the washer/dryer variety.

My dad forgot to bring the hoses for my washer on moving day. This is entirely understandable because he brought me a dryer, a spare gas can, extra indoor garbage cans, two outdoor garbage cans, 4 door stoppers, a 5-gallon bucket, an entire van full of tools that he put to use all day helping me to get settled.

He assured me that hooking up a washing machine is very easy. He took me down to the basement and we had a little show-and-tell as he explained, "Attach a hose here and here...cold to cold and hot to hot." Sounds easy enough. In fact it sounds a lot like jumping a car. Positive to positive...negative to negative. As I verbally make that connection my father looks at me with a sudden doubt crossing his face... I haven't had the best of luck with jump starting my car (I've melted jumper cables twice in fact.). He tells me this it is not that difficult. We shall see.

That same night he gives me the hoses.

A few days later I brave my way down to the basement for my first DIY project as a homeowner (can I technically call myself a homeowner if I have as yet to make my first house payment?). The hoses are a little difficult to attach (here and here) because the previous owner clearly had stock in some paint company and painted everything...including the spickets in the basement. So I proudly busted out some tools that the previous owner had abandoned and found some "tightener thing" and proceeded to attach the hose as my dad had instructed.

I figured that I should test it out before I go through all the hassle of threading it onto the washer. So i turn on the water. And water sprays EVERYWHERE! Luckily the floor drain is in close proximity because I am drenched from head to toe. I keep working with my "tightener thing" but it just doesn't seem like it could get any tighter. I try the water again. More water pouring out of the spout, out of the threads, out of nearly every spot but the end of the hose where I WANT there to be water coming out. I have to just stop and laugh at this point because it really is just amazing HOW MUCH water I have on me and on the floor with just two little turns of the knob.

I try a couple more tightening turns, more water on me and the floor and decide that doing more of the same thing isn't going to give me any different results. So I sweep the excess water down the floor drain. Ring out my sopping clothes. And wait for a consult on this situation.

I told my story repeatedly at work. It got lots of laughs but few suggestions. Finally, Sue offered her husband to help (my heroes!). They were the first people that I got to show my house off to. And Steve had my washer working just fine in no time flat. I guess I was doing all the right things...just not tight enough. So in this case more of the same actually would have been a good thing, but that is a separate issue.

So now my washer works. Thanks to my dad. And Sue. And Steve. And really I didn't do much except bring all these lovely people together. :) Good times. And the adventures of home ownership continue...

I bought a house!

2009-10-15T21:31:00.000-05:00

I have moved seven times in the last seven years. Not counting the mini-moves into and out of friend's and family's basements, spare bedrooms, and storage spaces during any gaps between my "old lease" and "new lease." I can only hope that those nomadic days are behind me now.

This house is move-in ready! The seller bought the house to flip... so the appliances are all new, it has new carpet, fresh paint, and most importantly my father (who is in the construction bussiness) has declared it structurally sound.

I am going to try to move over the three day weekend, during a very busy time for me at work (report card grades are due and parent/teacher conferences are right around the corner!). I am seriously stressing that I will not have time to get everything moved, settled, and cleaned in the time allotment.

At first, I declared that I wasn't going to clean anything at the new house before I moved. But my friend Katy talked some sense into me and convinced me that I had to vaccuum and wash the windows of any space before it can be deemed accaptable. She was absolutely right! I felt so much better after I had that chore accomplished. :)

I was incredibly pleased to discover that my new house has amazing windows that easily fold in to be cleaned. Life is good and much brighter with sparkling windows. :)

I can already tell that this is going to be an adventure. I'll keep it posted here. :)

Breaking Dawn

2009-03-21T16:00:00.000-05:00

This is the best book of the series! I re-read it as soon as I finished it!

Eclipse

2009-03-15T15:58:00.000-05:00

I am completely addicted at this point.

New Moon

2009-03-12T15:53:00.000-05:00

New Moon is the second book in the series and by far the one that got me the most emotionally involved. :) I cried, often. But it was SO worth it.

This book also really develops Jacob's character and he is one of my favorites! :) It was so good to hear more of his story and to see his friendship with Bella.

Twilight

2009-03-09T15:45:00.001-05:00

I got this series for my birthday (THANKS, Jav!) and I loved, loved, loved it! In fact it pretty much consumed my life for the days (ok, weeks!) following my birthday as I devoured each one.

The first book in the series is Twilight and it introduces you to the saga that is Bella and Edward's relationship. This is a very girly vampire story. In fact most of the story is based on Bella's analyzing and reanalyzing...agonizing and re-agonizing...worrying and re-worrying. :)

It is very suspenseful but in no way would I classify it as "horror" so don't be afraid to give it a try.

Tina

2008-06-11T23:45:00.002-05:00

Tina and I are living together for the summer. I moved into my new apartment almost two weeks ago. Tina allowed her bedroom furniture to be moved at that time but remained at the old apartment because she didn't have time to move all of her clothes and stuff on my moving day.

I had really started to wonder if she ever intended to occupy my second bedroom when she called me and told me that she was planning on moving her clothes on Wednesday. Rachel was also coming back that day to help clean out the apartment. I agreed to meet them over there at one.

My sweet sister had been working for hours by the time that I arrived at one. She had SEVERELY underestimated that amount of stuff that she still had to move out of the old apartment. It was by no means "just clothes." She packed and sorted and loaded and cleaned.

We let Rachel off easy, telling her that she was responsible for cleaning out the shared bathroom and vacuuming her room and the living room. She did so. She left. She forgot to leave her keys. We called. She will mail them. Typically Rachel. But as Tina pointed out, there really wasn't much more that she could have done at the time because Tina still had so much that needed to be packed and moved.

That left us with the Kitchen. Tina had thankfully packed it all. So I wiped out cupboards and cleaned the oven, while Tina emptied and cleaned the refrigerator. It was a long, long process. The three closets also needed to be packed and sorted. It took us all day.

We also had to finish the vacuuming. But the vacuum cleaner had gotten clogged. It took some interesting manuevers with a fly swatter and a wire coat hanger to get that problem solved. But we did it.

We finished around 8:30pm. By finished I mean that the old apartment is clean and everything is out (except the futons *sigh*). Our new place is pretty much packed to the gills. Or at least Tina's room is. Poor girl.

Moving is always a long and drawn out process. My sister worked for over twelve hours today on a project that she flippantly referred to as "moving her clothes" just yesterday. :) I am just happy we finished when we did.

Tuit

2008-06-10T23:11:00.004-05:00

I have seemingly all of the time in the world right now. I have the summer off with only the occasional work day or tutoring session and for at least these first few weeks I am not too concerned about the upcoming school year. So today I have started to compile a list of things that I would like to accomplish this summer...you know, the sorts of things that you usually put off saying that you will do it...when you get around to it...ah, Procrastination, my long time friend. :)

Which got me to thinking and reading about the History of Procrastination and the Round Tuit. Some very entertaining and interesting stuff there.

And of course there are many different kinds of Tuits out there...I had always assumed the round variety to be quite rare, however, a quick search on google garnished too many to choose from...perhaps I will pick a Round Tuit tomorrow. :)

Have you hugged your colander today?

2008-06-04T09:53:00.002-05:00

The moving season is here! I have a new address, all of my old things have been pulled out of my mother's attic, I have been sifting through mountains of utensils and dishes, pots and pans, I have been so pleasantly surprised to find so many kitchen gadgets that I have been missing these past few months...like my stainless steel colander which I hugged when I unpacked. :)

Today is the tenth?

2008-05-10T21:40:00.004-05:00

It is almost surprising that today is not the 21. That is how good it has been. (coincidentally it is 21 days till June 1, my move in date, I wonder if that has some sort of contributing factor?)

It is a great day for many reasons here are a few:

perfect dreams
plenty of time to catch up on sleep
beautiful walk
adorable new goslings
I had a sense of expectation that was delightful
I conquered the dishes
I got the lease for my new apartment
It's in the building I wanted
On the side facing the sunsets
Close to the pool
It has 2 bedrooms
I am paying the studio price!
my oil change took less than 15 minutes
I found the perfect card for Mother's Day
I chatted with my brothers and sister online
I talked to Dad, Mom, and Tina on the phone
I had time to catch up with Kate

everything has just gone so exceptionally well. And then I got sick. But I am too happy about all of the rest of it to even care that sickness would normally ruin a day...today is un-ruinable...and I loved it!

The Measure of a Heart

2008-04-10T19:44:00.001-05:00

Ok, this isn't a new book. Far from it. I was trying to remember just how many times I have read this one. MANY.

It's one of my favorites. :)

Like Water for Chocolate

2008-04-07T01:39:00.002-05:00

I have read excerpts of this book before, in my Spanish classes, and I thought that I had read it in its entirety. However, I realized that I haven't read it all until this go round.

This is really a very beautiful story. It fits right in with my current "lovers separated" theme. I loved the supernatural/larger than life aspects of this particular tale paired with the ever practical/down to Earth recipes and home remedies that this plot was woven through. The unique pairing made this ever-believable/ever-a-dream.

I also found myself enjoying the generational aspect...albeit a minor angle...and spent a lot of thinking on how the lives we live mirror those who have come before us...or respond/react to those lives lived before us. As well as the concept of generational curses and blessings. Every life carries its own freedom to be as it desires...and yet every life is made from the lives of the families before them. Interesting.

I liked the ending exceptionally sweet.

I hear there is a movie and I am going to try to track it down in the somewhat near future.

Baby Proof

2008-04-03T19:46:00.004-05:00

Well, look at that! It's another Emily Giffin novel, who would have thought?

It seems as if I am on a role.

This book is entirely not what I expected it to be in many ways. The first two Giffin novels that I read were deeply intertwined. I wrongly assumed that this book was a continuation of that story in some way.

The other novels also progressed in a very typical manner. This one seemed to start at a "happily ever after...." and then proceeded to fall apart. Talk about the unexpected! (Giffin's novels all seem to rely heavily on the theme of the unexpected...)

I found myself continuously counting down the number of pages to the final chapter knowing that it was not going to end the way that I wanted it to. I was dreading every word that brought me closer to the "monster" at the end of the book which I intuitively felt to be a tragic closing to this story, strong, but tragic.

And I did greatly enjoy a brief character "cameo" from the book, Something Blue. :)

However, I have also been thinking a lot about art this week. And this thinking has reminded me that sometimes the success of a book/story is not in the warm, fuzzy afterglow and the tidy happy endings...but perhaps it can be deemed "art" or "successful" because it was the story that evoked a deep emotional response...albeit not an expected response. It dredged up a real feeling of knowing what the characters struggle through.

I liked the book. I am highly tempted to pre-order the next novel which is hitting the shelves in mid-May.

Art is a feeling

2008-04-02T21:59:00.002-05:00

I saw a painting today.

I saw many.

But one made me stop.

One that made me remember him

saying that art is a feeling.

I asked

What do I feel?

Feel it?

What?

I would have liked to have met her

That girl

in that painting

Would have liked to know what she feels

about him

painting

her

then

Would like to know what she is thinking

about him

painting

her

then

I would like to know how men come to make such images

of nudes

of women

of a feeling

does he love the image the girl the paint the product the high the low the shape the color the texture the composition the line the shadow the hue the moment the light the life the end the beginning the balance the symmetry the familiarity the difference the tone the voice the story the touch the ease the discomfort the room the quilt the time the day the place the look the posture the placement the symbolism the blush the quiet

does he even love at all?

But it is her that I want to ask

her that I want to know

she has my answers

I can feel it

Salt

2008-04-02T21:55:00.003-05:00

You know how you toss some salt over your shoulder for good luck? Does it count if your OCD self always aims for the garbage?

The saddest thing

2008-04-02T19:54:00.002-05:00

I am reading a book right now that is setting me into a funk. It's quite depressing, really. I am equally motivated to quit crying(i.e. reading) and put it out of my mind all together and to hurry up and finish it just to see if there is any hope for these poor people.

I think the very saddest circumstance is when two people love each other and they are not together. I mean unreturned love is tragic, unrecognized love is disheartening, unspoken love is dreadful...but when love is recognized, realized, and actual...yet not continued...I mourn for that.

I may never finish...I may be unable to stop.

Something Blue

2008-03-26T18:03:00.000-05:00

I enjoyed the first book so much that I decided to read the sequel. I enjoyed this book just as much, if not more, than the first.

This second book is told from the perspective of the best friend from book number one. There is a couple of overlapping chapters giving her take on some crucial scenes that were played out in the first plot line and then the story moved to another continent (literally) and branched out from the previous book's conclusion.

I think that it takes a lot of talent to take the antagonist and make her the protagonist (especially with this character set) however, this was done quite convincingly. Plus, I really enjoyed the multiple points of view on shared scenes.

I think that I liked this one enough to go off and find the third book. :)

Something Borrowed

2008-03-25T17:56:00.000-05:00

This was a fast and easy read...think along the lines of something to take to the beach or poolside...

I really found this story to be entertaining it is about a woman who finds herself in love with her best friend's fiance. It was greatly intriguing and quite a page turning (mostly because I was constantly fearful of the "getting caught" scenario).

Giffin did a wonderful job making her characters believable, flaws and all.

This book also gave pause to some interesting theories about control in relationships, the bond of friendship, competition vs. success, and the need for a secret.

I found it well written and a good escape from my non-dramatic relational life. ;)

Girl With a Pearl Earring

2008-03-24T17:49:00.000-05:00

This is a very interesting look at the life of Vermeer, his family, and his household staff. It is told from the perspective of one of his wife's maids.

I was interested to see how the story unfolded, however, this book didn't have a very quick "hook." Once the story gained momentum it was an easy read.

If you enjoy a twist on the stereotypical historical fiction then this book will be worth your time.

Carry On, Mr. Bowditch

2008-03-18T17:40:00.004-05:00

We just finished reading this book together in my 5th Grade class. This is the 4th time that I have read it and I can honestly say that I enjoy it more each time.

I greatly admire Nat's ability to "sail by ash breeze" as he would say, never giving up and continuously persevering no matter what the circumstances. There is certainly a lot to be said about the depth of character that it takes to refuse to allow the life situations and personal tragedy that each of us must face to dictate the life that we live. Nat is an excellent example of accomplishing what those around him considered to be impossible.

I can recommend this book without any qualifiers...because if it is good enough to read in my particular school setting...then anyone on planet Earth can read it without any fear or trepidation. :)

The Time Traveler's Wife

2008-03-18T17:17:00.003-05:00

This book was loaned to me by a friend who has impeccable taste in all things that I love, from books, to music, to movies, to concerts, and on and on and on.

This book is the "change-my-life" kind of good. I started recommending this book to people as soon as I started reading it. I didn't need to finish it to know that it was going to be good through the end and that it was going to be a worthy expenditure of time.

I started to consider the dependability of chronological time and the possibility of that not being a factor. I even found myself buying into the idea so much that I started to consider how I could help people like Henry, how I could make the travels easier for him. The best part, is how this book forces you to consider fate and destiny as entities not to be trifled with. Do we do what we do because we want to? Or because we are meant to? Is there any way to undue the past? Or to change the future? And while the theory of time travel may sound entertaining...at what expense is such a venture made? And who has true freedom those that travel or those that don't? I am going to be thinking about this book for a while. I recommend that you do the same.

All that being said...if you are offended by language, sex, or alcohol use...then this is not the book for you. I, however, am happily rarely offended and I loved the whole thing! (So don't worry, Lauren, I didn't "edit" your copy with a black Sharpie marker as I have done to some of my books ;) )

Sing Along

2008-02-07T21:12:00.000-06:00

One of the things that I love about my job are the many "moments" I find. They are unexpected and they cause me to stop in my tracks in awe of how grateful I am to be right here, right now. I wouldn't change a thing.

My kids are so great. Sure they have their days. But today, when other teachers were complaining that their kids were squirly from the day off, my kids were radiently good. I always have some music playing at the begining of the day as they get settled in, turn in homework, mark lunch count, etc. And the students always have a daily-warm-up worksheet to finish quietly in their seat. Today, as I was taking attendance I paused as I realized that my entire class was quietly singing along with the CD. I smiled. Oh, the unabashed joy of fifth-graders singing a song they love with their friends. Today, it was good to be back. Back to a job I love. Today, I sang along.

Incredibly Stupid Phone

2008-02-06T21:40:00.000-06:00

My cell phone now only works when it is plugged in to its charger. This is most frustrating. I plan to take it to get its battery checked/fixed/replaced as soon as possible, but there is no way that I was going to do it today in our virtual blizzard. I have been missing calls, texts, and voice mails because of this stupididty. I am keeping in plugged in at all times now so hopefully that will help it out 'till I can dig myself out of the snowstorm and get to the Sprint store.

Untill then good luck trying to reach me.

I may have just voted for the Anti-Christ

2008-02-05T21:55:00.000-06:00

Isn't it interesting how everyone becomes a political activist on Super Tuesday? Monday we mumbled to hide our ignorance...we stumbled to choose a side...to stall some more, we then grumbled that there wasn't a side worth choosing. And Tuesday we vote.

Yesterday, the politics at hand were alien ideas and yet we complained that we had been inundated with political advertisement. Today we vote.

People critisize the cadidates. They critisize my choice.

I don't claim to have all the answers but I voted for a change. Call the candidate what you will. Just know that right or wrong...I think it is amazing that we the people get a voice at all.

How to Make the Pretzel/Rolo/M&M Things

2007-12-04T21:37:00.000-06:00

Preheat your oven to 250 degrees.

Wash your hands

Get the necessary ingredients: pretzels (a 1 pound bag is MORE than enough),
Rolos (Two 12oz. bags were used for this recipe),
M&Ms (Colors appropriate for the season or special event).
Empty the M&Ms into a bowl. Remove the Rolos from their wrappers.
Place pretzels on a cookie sheet as shown.
Top each pretzel with a Rollo.
Place the Rollo topped pretzels into a 250 degree oven for 4-6 minutes to soften the Rollos.
Place an M&M on each Rollo.
Gently smoosh M&M and Rollo to cover more pretzel. :)

CONGRATULATIONS! Now you can enjoy eating your pretzel/Rollo/M&M Things!

A peaceful walk

2007-11-14T22:09:00.001-06:00

I was joined today for a walk through a park during my lunch break. It was such a pleasant surprise to have someone to laugh with and share the beautiful break with. Betsy and I seem to be fast friends. Our conversations are easy. We never lack for topics to discuss. I love her honesty, especially about marriage. She is genuinely sweet. Most of all she just seems to love laughing as much as I do. And do we ever have stories to share.

It was nice to make new memories for this place. I don't care for the old ones.

Last Saturday in Pictures

2007-11-10T10:59:00.000-06:00

Cake

2007-10-11T22:21:00.001-05:00

Tonight I baked a cake. I ate one frosted corner and now I don't want anymore of it. It was a small craving. Does anyone want a yellow cake with milk-chocolate frosting sans one small upper left-hand corner?

A Cruel Tease

2007-10-11T21:57:00.001-05:00

I realize now that my previous post was simply a cruel tease...it said nothing. After weeks of silence I said nothing. I will try to put more sustenance in this post. It may not be of interest but it is at least my life.

Work is crazy, busy because we are working towards an ACSI accreditation. It is a prestigious recognition that would mean that we have subjected ourselves to a self-study to improve ourselves, live up to our vision and mission statements, and in many ways simply hold us accountable as a provider of christian education. Being a private institution certainly has its perks...one of which being that we are not obligated and controlled by government mandates or stipulations...this however does leave us wide open to go right off the deep end if we are not careful. Hence the self-study and seeking after accreditation.

What this translates into is extra meetings, tons of information compilations, answering endless questions, rewriting answers and evaluating every minute detail of our operation. It is a daunting task. But we have an organized approach and October and November are the highlighted "meeting months." We might have some more time to ourselves after that.

I can't complain about it. I have been enjoying it. And I even volunteered to be on an extra committee. It does require a lot of energy that I seem to be lacking.

I think that I am having a mild mono relapse. Nothing too severe. Just extreme exhaustion. Colds take longer to fight. I sleep till I ache. That sort of thing.

I have also added school board clerk to my list of duties. I get nervous about this responsibility, little though it is. It seems like just the sort of thing that I am perfect at. I am not sure where my trepidation is coming from.

I have a 5th/6th field trip tomorrow. A great outdoorsy destination. But always a stressful day. I pray for good weather. Cool is fine. No rain, please. I pray for cool tempers, no drama, and good, kind words to be spoken by all the parents who attend. I might be asking for too much but I ask anyway.

I am going to Spoon River Drive this weekend (read that like it is a verb and not a destination...it makes it sound oh-so-much-more-interesting). I can't wait to nab up Lauren and talk about books, music, movies, and any random topic we come across. I miss my best roommate.

I miss living alone. Enough said. My mantra has been, "I am saving a lot of money." It isn't bad here. It's just not mine.

I love having only 12 students. My life is glorious. I have more time (for sleeping and fighting colds evidently). I finish most of my work at school. I didn't even know that was possible till this year.

I have great friends. Friends who call and leave voice mails knowing that I am horrible at returning them. Friends who supply me with all my selfish indulgences. Friends to laugh with, cry with, commiserate with. We are the lucky ones. Whether we see it or not.

Just anything

2007-10-10T21:23:00.000-05:00

I have been pretty much despising the fact that I have gotten so lazy about blogging. So I keep trying to drum up some great story, some exciting memory, some profound theory...I haven't come up with anything so I haven't written. Now I am willing to settle for anything, just anything, so long as I publish a post.

A Nerts Night

2007-09-09T22:18:00.000-05:00

Fun was had by all in attendance of the Nerts Night Reunion.
Kara, Jen, John, Brent, Amy, and Erin

I have to say that a fair amount of name-calling and a healthy dose of smack talk was prevalent.
And of course you always loose when you talk the most smack.

We were, of course, accompanied by Nerts Music
Matchbox 20, Rob Thomas, and Havana Nights Soundtrack.

We laughed till coke came out our noses.

We invented a Nerts Workout.
Stretching achy muscles, lunging for cards, flexing limbs to reinstate blood flow, etc.

We declared Nerts a full-contact sport...and then an extreme sport.

It was good to laugh, and tease, and generally return to the escape we found so comforting in college.

Reasons I Haven't Posted

2007-09-02T12:56:00.000-05:00

1. I noticed in mid-August that I had last posted on the final day of school and thought that it would be nifty to wait until the first day of the new school year to resume posting.
2. I was working at the school as a co-director of the summer camp. Good Times. Note to self: take next summer OFF!
3. I was practicing Korean so that I would be familiar with the language for my trip to Seoul.
4. I was filling out my application for a passport.
5. I was teaching English to a group of Korean students who came to visit our school.
6. I was planning field trips for previously mentioned students.
7. I was driving the bus and chaperoning said field trips.
8. Waiting for my passport to come on time. It didn't.
9. Cancelling my teaching trip to Korea due to lack of passport, and very little information to go on.
10. My grandmother died. Funeral arrangements, packing up her apartment, visiting relatives, family drama, it all takes time and energy.
11. Meeting new CCA teachers and helping to acclimate them to our unique environment.
12. Being at the school all summer gave me a false sense of being "ready" for the school year..hence there was a frantic final push to be sure that all was ready for the first day/week/year.
13. My apartment flooded.
14. The carpet molded.
15. We had to move out of the moldy apartment.
16. We had to move into a new apartment.
17. On such short notice very few friends were available to help with either move.
18. Mold means that everything needs to be washed...twice.
19. The new apartment has mice.
20. When you pack in such short notice it takes much longer to unpack and get organized.
21. And basically I am just lazy.

The Panic and The Push and The Peace

2007-05-25T16:49:00.000-05:00

An interesting oxymoron of my life has been discovered again. This week has been incredibly packed with the completion of the school year. There had been a great deal of stress in the preceding weeks, complicated by months of a sluggish sickness. I had been pouring myself into my job. The pure panic and push of getting everything checked, graded, recorded, double-checked, filed, and reported is immense. And then suddenly the pendulum swings back, just as fast, and a void replaces the frantic pulse that was previously dictating my every breath. I so often hear teacher's chime to one another, "A teacher's job is never done." Which is true until the final report cards are completed. And then suddenly I have no idea what to do with t-i-m-e. It was uncomfortable at first, as if I had the wind knocked out of me. But then I took one breath after another. A smile spread over me, I closed my eyes and said, "Welcome, Summer."

the worst day

2007-05-08T21:16:00.000-05:00

Today is the worst day.
He told me the upsetting truth, again, and this time I believed him.
Even sleep was not a comfort.

Was wishing school would distract me enough.
Obviously that didn't work out.
Ran into the worst sort of trouble at a meeting.
Such wicked, wicked people.
The sort that just feast on others, like vultures.

Don't even worry about it.
Already I am thinking that tomorrow it will be
Yesterday.

breaking up tastes like leomaid

2007-05-08T20:44:00.000-05:00

I have this theory about breaking up. I figure you really need to live it (the break up) and to feel it, in order to get over it. Otherwise, you end up repressing emotions, harboring frustrations, and basically aiding and abetting distrust. Not a good thing. In some way, I think that if I don't truly experience it now...I will just have to do it later. I opt for getting on with it. Allowing myself to wallow in misery deeply so that I can all the sooner walk on.

He broke up with me on Good Friday. I gave myself until Easter morning to be truly miserable. Here is my rational: I figure that if Jesus can die on a cross on Good Friday and raise from the dead on Easter Morning then he can give me some new life in that amount of time too.

Now there are some rituals that I do in order to remember. I realized in my grade school years that my memories could very easily be triggered by familiar smells. Then in high school I read somewhere that around 80% of taste is connected with smell. Thus began the memory keeping.

I am here to tell you that breaking up with him tastes like lemonade. And I encouraged this. First we have to go back to the idea that I believe that I really need to experience the emotions of breaking up...to savor them now. Then I have to create a memory trigger. Enter the lemonade. Conveniently, that was what I was drinking the night we broke up. So I simply embraced the concept. That whole first weekend I chewed over relational mistakes and lemonade gum, I chocked back tears and chilled glasses, I inhaled memories and vitamin C, I bit my tongue and put on lip gloss...all flavored like lemonade. It works like a charm.

The first few days are the hardest, that's when I hurt the most. But every now and then I start to try to work it out again. I start to only remember the good times. That is when I know that it is time for a tall cool glass of lemonade. Time to remember what breaking up tastes like. Really it seemed at first like I was drinking the lemonade to get over it. Now it looks like I taste it to remember not to get hurt again.

Enjoy!

2007-05-07T21:34:00.000-05:00

Just in case there is anyone out there who didn't see this on Lauren's blog...this is way too fabulous to miss!

Quandaries and Options and Decisions

2007-05-02T20:50:00.000-05:00

Quandaries
Options
Decisions

Where to live?

Stay here
With my sister
Find a roommate
Elsewhere

What to do?

Stay here
Go back to school
Find a job
Be an astronaut

How to pay for that?

Public Schools
There is always Taco Bell
Part time teaching
Become independently wealthy

auction and shower

2007-04-28T22:06:00.000-05:00

The auction day has finally come and gone. I am free to think of other things! I can't believe that there are only four more weeks of school. I can't believe how much we have to get done in those four weeks!

Today was also the day of Jen's wedding shower carefully planned and hosted by my sister. She did such an amazing job. Her theme was "Jen in Wonderland and the Mad Hatter Tea" (based on Alice in Wonderland). It was so amazing. The girls hosting it dressed as the Mad Hatter (Tina), the Cheshire Cat (Faith), The Door Mouse (Rachel), The Queen of Hearts (another Jen), The White Rabbit, and of course Jen was Alice...it was so interesting. They built an entire "set" for the party with backgrounds of painted cardboard cutout gardens, paper lanterns, a long mismatched tea table, and of course blue and purple Christmas lights. They followed the theme through in several ways ...for an example of the planned "chaos" they had us write our own thank-you notes at the beginning and played an introduction game at the end of the party. A good time was had by all. And if you are ever looking for someone to plan a party...talk to my sister, she does an amazing job!

Sleep Evades Me

2007-04-25T22:47:00.000-05:00

I have been sleeping entirely too much since Thanksgiving due to sickness. But ever since Easter weekend I have returned to "normal" sleep patterns: cutting in half my usual needs. Tonight, sleep evades me. I don't think that I will even try it.

Twins

2007-04-24T21:23:00.000-05:00

There is a great family story about my birth...actually now that I think about it there are several! But for now I just want to tell you about my twin. My parents had no health insurance when I was born...they never have until just most recently. So when the hospital billed them my father scrutinized each charge carefully. It is a good thing that he did because the hospital charged them for the delivery of twins!

My father went to the hospital directly to correct the error.
The hospital's response was, "Are you sure you didn't have twins?"
"If we did then you shorted us a baby!"
Needless to say they reversed the charges.

I, however, have held out hope that perhaps I have a misplaced twin out there somewhere, this probably stems from reading too many hope filled stories about reunited families.

Today my sister came to school to visit me (and get the car). One of my former students said that we looked so much alike that if she showed up one day to do my job he wouldn't know the difference! Fabulous! Looks like I have found my twin after all! ;)

...and other great questions.

2007-04-24T19:09:00.000-05:00

As you might imagine, teachers hear it all at one time or another. Today was the jackpot for crazy questions...

"Can I tell my story during silent reading?"

"So how old was he when he was born?"

"Can we work together during independent study time?"

After saying that my sister is three years younger than I am, "So are you twins?"

I just had to stop and wait a moment or two while they listened to themselves and then said..."Ohhhh, never mind."

Indeed.

Dumb Decimals

2007-04-23T22:32:00.000-05:00

Can someone please explain to me how fifth graders who KNOW how to divide decimals and KNOW how to round off decimals can have a hard time comprehending how to divide a decimal and round off the answer? I mean, we have been doing each of these independently for weeks. The first exercise on our math page today is about rounding decimals off. They flew through it. Everyone got them correct. Section 2 involves dividing decimals. Same story. No problems, no questions, smooth sailing. Section 3. I might as well have been giving them directions in Swahili! It was ridiculously frustrating. We didn't even get to the other side of the paper. I had to work out every problem step by step with EVERY student. No wonder we all got headaches!

A Crazy Afternoon Sickness Bug

2007-04-23T22:19:00.000-05:00

It was the strangest thing, this afternoon, several of my students started to complain about headaches and stomach pains.

I ran through the usual questions, "Did you have something to eat today?" (You wouldn't believe how many of them forget to eat!), "What did you eat?" "Did you play hard at recess?" and so on.

There was no recognizable pattern, some had eaten, one had not (I sent her down to buy a pop-tart), some had brought lunches from home, some had eaten the salad bar, some had ordered a hot lunch, some had played hard, some had sat on the sidelines, some drank their milk others didn't...I was beginning to become highly suspicious that they were ALL having such symptoms and was starting to feel like I must be the brunt of someones idea of a joke... when I started to feel it, too.

It was horribly sudden. Headache, stomach pain, nausea and dizziness. Yick! Thankfully we only had a light afternoon planned and we all went home exhausted. I even skipped small group so that I could crawl into bed asap.

Now I have emerged feeling all better. (This might mess up my sleeping pattern a bit but I am quite thankful to not be sick.) But who ever heard of being sick for 6 hours? I would typically blame food poisoning or something of that nature, but I am not sure how that is possible with all of the varieties of meal options available to us. I will be interested to see who makes it to school tomorrow.

Tweaking

2007-04-22T20:13:00.000-05:00

I greatly enjoy tweaking blog templates. Furthermore, I greatly enjoy when said tweaking can move at the same pace as my creative thought process.

My previous template was found in the public domain. It held the promise of "copy and paste to a new and improved blog appearance." This is all well and good, except for when my creative tweaking bent kicks in.

The creator of this free blog template simply does not define terms like, "header," "footer," "sidebar," or "body," the way that I do. To me it is simple. Header=Top; Footer=bottom; sidebar=left or right; body=central focal point. In this design however all of these terms were entirely confused...my sidebar was actually labeled as the body and footer...my header was labeled as a sidebar...and luckily I think the body was still the body...otherwise I don't think that I could have posted. So I sorted through the html garble and cleaned it up for the most part...and then I "encrypted/hid" notes to myself in the template so that I could find everything and I wouldn't mess it up again.

This may sound like complaining...but it's not really. In some backhanded sort of way I am bragging that I could figure any of it out at all. I just think...10 years ago I had never written with anything other than a pencil, and I wasn't introduced to the Internet until I attended SVCC in '99. And the blogging craze started after my geocities experimentation somewhere around '02. I pat myself on the back. Because, I can tweak! :)

Comments

2007-04-22T12:00:00.000-05:00

People say the strangest things. When people ask me about Javier I simply respond by saying, "We broke up before Easter." These are my favorite responses thus far...

"After dating you for ten months he never figured out that you always do the breaking-up?"

Evidently not. *laughter*

"Well, it's like this Trisha, you make a great buddy...but you are a horrible girlfriend."

Thanks!? *laughter*

"Do you want my boyfriend/brother/dad/gang/boy scout/super hero/boss/employee/husband/ex-boyfriend to beat him up for you?"

Umm, NO! *laughter*

Thank-you all for your concern/honesty/support. And thanks for the laughter. ;)

Shopping Spree

2007-04-21T21:48:00.000-05:00

$350 dollars were donated to my classroom's auction basket this year. We have decided to make our theme "Nintendo DS Lite." So I have been given the entirely fun responsibility of spending that $350 in any way that I see fit. Yippee! I have never had quite so much fun making purchases as when I am spending other people's money. :) It has been a fantastic day! But then of course I knew it would be...it is the 21st, after all...always the best!

It is well

2007-04-21T19:43:00.000-05:00

Today, I went for a walk. I haven't had the time to do that in a while. But for once it seems that my papers are all graded, my classroom is ready for the upcoming week, and my apartment is clean...so I had every excuse to go and lose an hour or two soaking up the beautiful sunshine. And beautiful it was.

I strolled really. I didn't have any real direction, focus, or goal. I just ambled along and enjoyed all the spring sounds and smells. It was a good time. It was a quiet time. I needed that.

Language

2007-04-15T19:51:00.000-05:00

I was at a party this weekend. And I found myself making up words to describe a new experience. This is pretty standard behavior for me. The english language is full of appropriate words I am sure, however, I find that I don't know enough of those appropriate words. In order to communicate my thoughts I find that I have to create some words of my own...

In responce to some ridicule I pointed out that my audience had understood my meaning prefectly, therefore, I had sufficiently communicated regaurdless of my obvious language brrier.

Smile

2007-04-07T01:15:00.000-05:00

Trisha VS the Volcano

2007-02-27T23:35:00.000-06:00

When do I blog? Whenever I should be doing something else: sleeping, planning, grading, resume writing, job application completing...etc.

Remember Joe VS The Volcano? Great Movie.

I feel like I have been talked into jumping into a volcano. Everyone seems to think that it is a good idea. I even tend to agree. Why not?

I have agreed to jump. The ceremonies are completed. I have literally been escorted to the mouth of the volcano by supporting friends and family. Now all that is left is to do the actual jumping that I came to do. And suddenly it doesn't look so good. I need a hand to hold. I need someone to step out of the crowd and jump in with me.

Proverb of the Day

2007-02-10T20:20:00.000-06:00

It is ill-advised to shop for a gift for someone whom you are currently arguing with.

A Tale of Two Sisters

2007-02-10T16:14:00.000-06:00

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

My car wouldn't start this morning. I didn't want to wake my late-sleeping sister too early so I called my mom to chat. Lo and behold my father was still at home and I discussed my car-starting-issues with him. He said that it sounded like I just needed a jump, battery check, and possibly a new battery. He told me to call my sleeping sister asap to get this taken care of. Before hanging up he gave the dreaded direction, "call me when you get it started." We should have both just stayed in bed.

I called Tina and woke her from her pleasant slumber. I told her there was no need to hurry since my car was currently surrounded by other parked vehicles and she wouldn't be able to pull close enough to jump it. While saying this one such car pulled out of the parking lot. "Come now! Come now, before someone else takes the spot." Tina is an amazing sister, she crawled out of bed immediately and came to rescue me. We should have both just stayed in bed.

Less than a month ago we were faced with this exact scenario. We took my car to Wal*Mart and they said that it was fine. So while claiming that we were ripped off by the Supercenter we prepared to jump my car taking careful precautions to match "positive to positive, negative to negative." Dad had said that it might need to charge up for a few minutes before we disconnected...so we left the cars (AS WE HAD BEEN INSTRUCTED TO DO) and went inside to the warm apartment. About fifteen minutes later we emerged ready to find cars that were recharged and ready to head to Autozone for the battery check. But such was not the case. We should have both just stayed in bed.

Neither car was running. The jumper cables had melted. Goopy cable coverings were dripped all over our batteries. The smell of burning rubber and sparks hung in the air. We were both horrified to a state of speechlessness! Both cars were deader than door nails. We disconnected the now ruined cables and tossed them into a snow pile. We attempted to put Tina's Bronco into neutral and push it to a less crowded area of the lot (in hopes of finding someone else to jump her car). But the power steering was locked up and we couldn't turn the wheel from its awkward angle (note: wheel would have turned if we had turned the key in the ignition while it was in neutral...but she had her keys in her pocket because we didn't think of that). We should have both just stayed in bed.

We tried to think of all the people who could be called in such a circumstance. People who could help us: quickly, before we had to call our father back. Turns out my sister and I are awfully good at alienating helpful people...and while our best friends are good at offering sympathy, sympathy doesn't undo a mistake like this one. We walked to Tina's apartment to get her cell phone in order to take full advantage of every possibly helpful contact available. It was of no use, we had to face the inevitable and we both knew it. We had to call Dad back. We should have both just stayed in bed.

He answered the phone on the first ring. "Yell-o"
"It's Trisha."
"Hey, Trisha!"
"We made a mistake, we melted the cables, we did it just like before but something went wrong..."
There the tirade began. How could we be so helpless? We were just like our mother. Why weren't we more careful? We'd probably ruined them both now! He knew he should have come and taken care of this when we first called. Now it's probably too late. He would be here in an hour. We should have both just stayed in bed.

My brother called to tell us when Dad left. He gave us the necessary information and then said, "I love you," as if he were never going to hear from us again. Mom reminded us that we had one of two possible outcomes before us, either he would have cooled down over the hour-long drive or he would have worked himself up into a tizzy just sitting there stewing about it for an hour. We hoped for the latter. We should have both just stayed in bed.

Dad arrived and jumped both cars. They are both fine. We checked the batteries at Autozone. Cleaned off corrosion. We bought new jumper cables and power steering fluid. We had lunch at the Junction and talked about cars, motorcycles, boys, Costa Rica, and vacations.
He never yelled.
He didn't complain about the cold.
He didn't call us stupid or dumb.
He bought us lunch and laughed about our misadventures.
He wasted a Saturday on us.
And for a day that I was sure was going to give me reason to curse the day that I was born...it wasn't bad: my problems are fixed, my dad isn't angry, and my sister's car is fine. I am so thankful for my dad. He is incredibly self-sacrificing. We are a pain in the neck and he always takes care of us. While maybe my sister and I should have both just stayed in bed today, we are blessed to have a dad that can undo what sympathetic friends, alienated others, or unreachable helpers cannot.

In the worst of times we were reminded that we have the best of families.

job

2007-02-06T22:11:00.000-06:00

The familiar job search has begun again. Every year I say that I can't stay any longer. Every year I vow to find a new position. Every year I stay.

Dear God, please help this to be the search that changes things.

Too-Cold-to-go-to-School-Day

2007-02-05T13:08:00.000-06:00

I got a call at 5:30am informing me that my wonderful employer had decided to cancel school due to the extreme cold! Yipee! A wise decision: especially considering the problems that we have been having with the heat in that building...I should go in today to make sure that my door is opened so that the heat from the hallway can slip into my room (my room has no vent so all heat must come in through the door and if the door gets closed over the weekend...its a very cold start).

Days like today are perfect for lazy people like myself. I am personally soaking up all of the restfulness possible. I have decided that since I can't go outside (who would want to!? It's like minus 20 out there!) I will wear my pajamas all day! And I am thrilled for once to live in my tropical/temperate zone apartment. Plus, I am cooking and baking and organizing...I may even break down and grade those spelling tests. All in front of daytime television...you've just got to love Regis and Kelly, TLC(Baby Story), and the Food Network. Why don't I spend all of my days at home? Oh, yeah! I love my job! Especially after days like today!

Chasing Dreams

2007-01-27T01:04:00.000-06:00

Will Sudoku for Sleep*

*to be read in the tones of "Will work for food"

I have been trying to sleep and I can't. I am exhausted. All I want to do is sleep. But rest eludes me. Instead I find myself whining and complaining; killing time with late night television and mindless puzzles; and wandering the internet in search of nothing in particular. If I type anymore the complaints are sure to get out of hand...

A case of the giggles

2007-01-18T22:50:00.000-06:00

As is typical with most Thursdays, I attended a faculty meeting today after work. What was entirely unusual was the rampant, uncontroleable case of the giggles that was cycloning through the meeting. Most surprising of all perhaps was that it all started with my quite-serious-boss. To make matters worse we had a severely serious agenda...that we all laughed and giggled through. It was hillarious. I laughed 'till I cried and then I wiped away my tears and laughed some more. It was a memorable meeting. I think next week we should add giggling to the agenda.

Spirit Week

2007-01-17T21:13:00.000-06:00

Who invented it and why?

Tuesday=P.J. Day
Wednesday=Clash Day
Thursday= Crazy Hair Day
Friday=Green and White Day

Today, I went to the bank wearing my "Clash" outfit. LOL. You should have seen it!

Conspiracy Theory: Intent to Kill

2007-01-17T20:59:00.000-06:00

I have mono. My employer knows this. My students know this. Their parents know this.

I was within inches of taking an extended leave of absence. But on a whim, I decided to get back to work as much as I could for as long as I could. Because I love my job.

Ever since I have returned I have begun to suspect that they have the intent to kill me. Let's examine the evidence...

They keep trying to push the responsibility of organizing the school-wide speech meet on me. This is a big job for a committee. They think I should do it alone.

They refuse to accept the answer, "NO."

When one parent complains I am expected to revise my entire approach to teaching math, including 10-15 additional hours of grading per week.

They refuse to accept the answer, "NO."

One parent still wants me to come to work for her bussiness after school and on weekends.

They wonder why I can't return the quiz/test that students took in the morning back at the end of the day with letter grades, comments, and smiley stickers so that they don't have to wait till the next day to see the results.

They would like to go on more field trips.

They want me to teach a special unit on MLKJ.

They refuse to accept the answer, "NO."

They obviously want me dead. But thanks to mono, I have inherited the "I-don't-really-care-bug." They can take their best shot. My answer is still "no" and I am going to sleep.

Ice and Snow

2007-01-17T20:49:00.000-06:00

Never underestimate the amount of time that it takes you to "find" your mode of transportation that has been buried under a sheet of ice and a blanket of snow. I myself, have the tragic tendency of assuming that it will have only a minor effect on the normal "travel time" that I have allotted into my daily schedule.

The snow was minor in accumulation. It was the inches of ice that caused the huge delays. Mostly because I couldn't even get into my car for the first 45 mins. I used ice scrapers and at last a hammer to chip away the ice around the doors. Not to mention the task of thawing out the locks. Then each door had to be "dug out" and literally pried open. I found my broom handle, hammer, and a ruler to be manageable tools to accomplish the task.

All of the while I had this nagging fear that my car would refuse to start due to the cold, despite all of my valiant efforts just to get in. Much to my surprise, it started with very little hesitation and I was only and hour and fifteen mins late to small group. It is a good thing they love me and are so understanding of all of my crazinesses. They didn't even bat an eye when the only explanation of my tardiness offered was, "Never underestimate ice and snow."

American Idol

2007-01-16T20:11:00.000-06:00

*deep contented sigh*

The familiarity is so welcome! As soon as I saw the logo and heard the familiar theme music I was at home again. It is like comfort food, or snuggly blankets, or fuzzy mittens. Welcome back, American Idol, Welcome Back: my Tuesdays have missed you!

MLKJ Day

2007-01-15T13:59:00.000-06:00

I am so thankful to have this 3-day weekend. I have survived my first full week back to school. I am still sleeping 10-12 hours a night but at least I feel mostly "normal" when I am awake. This extra day has been excellent for getting extra rest and finishing report cards (due Wednesday). I feel so proud of myself for getting as much done as I have before the weekend is over. It is an excellent way to start out a new week; feeling pulled together, ahead of schedule, and enjoying naps.

When it Rains

2007-01-04T14:47:00.000-06:00

When it rains; it pours.

I have been incredibly sick for the last several weeks. It is just one thing after another. Right now I have Complicated Conjunctivitus (i.e. Pink Eye).

But what has been amazing to me throughout is the outpouring of support, help, and love that has been repeatedly demonstrated to me. My family has been awesome; driving me to the doctor appointments, picking up needed drugs, allowing me to sleep endlessly, making meals, doing laundry, and just keeping me off my feet. My friends from small group are willing to do anything that they can to help. The most surprising source of support came from my work. These people have blessed me repeatedly throughout this and have really convinced me that they care about my well being. I was shocked and overwhelmed to say the least.

I have been incredibly loved for the last several weeks. It is just one thing after another. Right now I am happy at rest.

Mononucleosis

2006-12-11T19:49:00.000-06:00

I was wrongly diagnosed with tonsillitus, I have mono. I guess that makes more sense. It explains my extreme exhaustion; sleeping 16+ hours a day. My complete distaste for most every food imaginable; although pizza is still good. It certainly helps to explain the complete nonsense of that last post; "I have mono, my brain is sleeping" seems to be a regular (and necessary) excuse these days.

Time is moving at such an odd pace. When I am awake it seems to go slowly because I feel fatigued, I have a hard time focusing, and I feel that all details are generally blurry. But then I fall asleep and when I wake up entire weekends have vanished, days slipped away, hours lost...instantly.

At least it is almost time for Christmas break. I can't wait for those two weeks of uninterrupted sleep. *yawn* No concerned coworkers to answer to, no noisy students to "shhhhush," no papers to grade, lessons to write, or Christmas parties to plan. Four more days and then I can just let this I-don't-really-care-attitude take over completely without worrying about it. I think I will go to sleep on Friday, December 15, 2006 and set my alarm clock for 7:00am Tuesday, January 2, 2007.

Wouldn't it be nice.

If I Believe

2006-12-02T11:07:00.000-06:00

I have decided that IF I believed in reincarnation I would like to come back as a house cat. As an experiment of sorts I have spent the last week testing the waters. I have been sleeping 20 of every 24-hour-period. I have been sipping warm milk and being entirely snobish about what foods, if any, I will consume. I have called the walk from my livingroom to my kitchen "my daily exercise." I have snoozed in the sun to get that warm and fuzzy feeling. I am more active at night. And I am definately not a social being.

I have tonsilitus. The doctor said that I could go back to work on Friday, but we had a snow day. Being sick all week and without my car, I feel like a caged animal. Maybe being a house cat isn't all that it is cracked up to be or maybe I just need another week to get used to it.

Good Money

2006-09-29T09:11:00.000-05:00

In the name of earning a little extra cash I am currently in charge of the distribution of all rewards and goods sold in the school-wide fundraiser. Weeks ago I had submitted my name as an interested candidate. I have heard nothing from "the candy man" since that time. Today, I started receiving e-mails telling me who-needs-what, how this-goes-there, and when-to-collect-this-from-them. I guess that I got the job. :)

This should be interesting. I anticipate a lot more whining...from me or the kids...take your pick!

Book Club Orders

2006-09-05T18:09:00.000-05:00

It feels so good to be back to school. Today, I received an entire stack of book club orders! I love buying books, reading, and sharing that with my students is wonderful. Buying their books is just as exciting as getting gifts for myself! Life is good.

Back to School

2006-08-30T22:19:00.000-05:00

Well...This is officially the second week of school and we are gearing up for the long Labor Day weekend, lovely. My students are amazing. I am already crazy about this group...They are wonderful. Every time that I get to learn more about them I am pleasantly surprised at what great people they are.

My new apartment is really great. I signed a lease for a one bedroom but for some mysteriously wonderful reason I was given a two-bedroom for the one-bedroom price. It turns out to be quite perfect since I have so much junk. I am not sure that I could have fit it all into a smaller apartment.

I am a user...A cell phone user. I always tried to play it off like I was opposed to cell phones but I think that now the truth is obvious as I have so quickly become a cell phone addict. I was merely postponing the inevitable.

I can afford my life right now, always a good thing. Life is good.

Picture Links

2006-08-06T01:14:00.000-05:00

If you want to check out some of the recent "Kodak moments" of my life you should check these out. I am not camera shy...and it runs in the family...consider that fair warning. ;)

http://tagworld.com/traeisha

Summer Blog

2006-08-03T21:35:00.000-05:00

Seems that I can't find the inspiration to even jot down blog ideas these days. Not for lack of topics. I find myself consistently and constantly thinking, "I could blog about that." I never quite get around to it. Life is better when I blog about it...Because I slow down enough to think about the nuances and immensities of life. And its just good for me to write down something, anything.

I noticed the other day that I have started biting my nails...I haven't done that in ages. Only when I am stressed. These days I am stressing about school coming too soon and yet somehow not soon enough. I can't wait to meet my new students, start a new year, in a new classroom, settle back into the joyous routine of a profession that seems quite perfectly suited for me. I love my job. But how did I miss that summer that I was looking forward to? The one where I had nothing planned but catching up on my reading? I have read about seven books this summer...I still have mountains of NEW books that I was looking forward to reading. Now I feel like I am out of time.

I am packing and getting ready for my next move to my new apartment. I think that I am equally excited and terrified about living alone. I wish that I could have my cat at this new apartment. It would make me feel better. I know that it sounds crazy (or maybe just a little to much like the "old cat lady" who lives with a million random strays) but I really would feel better just knowing that another living and breathing being is sharing my new space. Plus my vicious cat has always been good for keeping rodents and other pests down to a minimum. The good news is that I think that I am going to really love being on my own.

Today was a gorgeous example of how I am enjoying my summer. I went into Chicago with Lauren and Family (that makes them sound like some sort of insurance provider or something). Lauren and I did a fair amount of walking through the city before we met up with her parent's train. We took the train (and then a taxi) to the Museum of Science and Industry. It was fun to be a passenger and not a driver...Much more relaxing and daydreamish. It allowed for glorious views of lake and sky, clouds and sunshine. It was great. I think that the most amazingly wonderful and emotional exhibit was this one. And you thought that the baby chicks made me emotional...They've got nothing on the prenatal development one. And this one still just freaks me out and I can't stand to look at it. The bones are the worst part about it all...I just keep thinking, "The bodies were frozen and then carefully cut into sections with a band saw." And then I am clutching my stomach, covering my eyes and stumbling towards the stairs.

While we were downtown we signed up for a drawing: front row seats to tonight's performance of Wicked. We had to be present to win. We thought that it was certainly worth the shot. It turns out that they have this give away two hours before each performance...Tonight they gave away twenty seats. Sadly, we were not chosen. But it was still worth it. It was its own form of entertainment. Since I didn't get to see it tonight...I would just like to remind this vast audience of blog readers that tickets to this musical would certainly make you quite popular with me. Just in case you are looking for ways to get on my good side. ;)

I am also going to Great America this weekend; picking up the most gorgeous dress I have ever had the opportunity to wear; playing nerts with people that love the game just like I do; and finishing a great book. My life is sweet. My summer has been excellent, which is perhaps the most obvious reason for my nail biting/anxious behavior when I consider the rapidly approaching changes. Why change something that is already so great? I have loved this summer. I am looking forward to routine, my job, and my new apartment. What do I have to worry about?

See, I told you that blogging is good for me...I feel free again. Thank-you.

Twirling Skirts

2006-06-20T13:20:00.000-05:00

I have been quite enjoying twirling skirts recently. In fact I am currently in search of a new one. But I am rather particular, no huge surprise there. ;) The perfect skirts for twirling in are a joy to wear...Especially in the summer when I always feel like dancing.

Just the highlights!

2006-06-09T22:01:00.000-05:00

This is what I happily spent my weekend doing! Congratulations to my brother, the graduate! At church this weekend all of the graduates were recognized. It seems that my family had a corner on the market for graduations this year! ;) Spencer graduated from 8th grade, Skyler graduated from high school. Whitney graduated from ISU. Tina graduated from NIU. So, of the eight graduates that attend our church, half of them are in my family. I am so proud of them all!

In all honesty I have attended many graduations this year and this one was, I think the nicest. It wasn't too long. We got to sit outside and work on our tans. It was a beautiful day. And of course this was the only one that I brought my new camera to (Sorry, girls, I didn't but the camera until after your graduations!).

Family at Skyler's Graduation

2006-06-08T21:27:00.000-05:00

Here we are...each and every one of us. I can't tell you the last time that we were all together long enough for a snap shot to be taken. But because it was Skyler's high school graduation we were all at home. We were all in the same place at one time. We all celebrated together. We got caught up on all of the details that we had been missing. We found new things to argue about. We found new reasons for hugs. After all that is what *family* is all about, right?

Missing School

2006-06-08T21:11:00.000-05:00

This is my beautiful class whom I love and miss since we have all scattered to the winds of summer.
Don't get me wrong I am loving this summer break. And I am thankful each and every morning that I have missed the sunrise. But I bet that if you were the one that got to do my job...
If you were the one that played with these kids...
If you were the one that watched them grow...
If you were the one that laughed with them till your stomach hurt...
If you were the one that poured your heart and soul into them...
If you were the one to plan for them...
Teach for them...

Clean for them...
Pray for them...
Read for them...
Save for them...
Loose sleep for them...

If you learned to love them the way that I did you would be missing school, thirteen days into summer vacation, too!

Crazy Birds

2006-06-08T20:32:00.000-05:00

A couple of days ago I went for a walk on the bike path by my house. It was a very ordinary day. It was very ordinary until about a quarter of a mile down the path. Then all of the sudden these crazy birds started to hover in the air above my head squawking furiously. I was confused; I had done nothing to offend them, I was sticking to the path as usual, I wasn't even dressed horribly, I couldn't begin to understand what their deal was. I had decided to just ignore their hovering and squawking when out of the blue a brave one swooped down and brushed up against my head. I ducked down and screamed simultaneously. I could not believe the audacity of these birds.

At first, I tried to ignore them. They would not be ignored. Next, I tried waving them away whenever they swooped down. That evidently just made their mockery more enjoyable. Finally, I decided to just stare them down. This seems to work the best. They still make an un-godly amount of noise but at least their swooping is down to a minimum.

Today when I went to the path I saw that this sign had been posted. It is good to know that I am not the only one that has been bothered by these obnoxious birds. I have been complaining about these crazy red-winged blackbirds for the past couple of weeks so I just wanted you to know that I am not the only one that feels the need to spread the word of caution.

Summer

2006-05-27T19:14:00.000-05:00

Look who just bought a new camera! It's so pretty. I am having all sorts of sun experimenting with photography all over again. Good times, good times. I bought it just in time for all of the end of the year celebrating at school.

That's right. School is over and done with. Summer has just begun and I am feeling incredibly free. So free in fact that I think that I am going out to take a walk and enjoy the fact that for the next couple of days I can't think about school even if I wanted to. It simply doesn't exist for the next couple of weeks. What liberty. What joy. This loveliness should be photodocumented and it shall be.

Full Life

2006-05-15T22:15:00.000-05:00

I am so thankful for this full life that God has blessed me with...Although it sometimes feels a bit overwhelming and I need an occasional nudge (i.e. sickness) to remind me to rest and slow down.

This weekend Whit graduated from ISU with a degree in Elementary Education and she starts her first teaching job in the fall with 8th grade science. Wow! She graduated Suma Cum Laude. Double wow! Her graduation was very prim and proper and lasted for 90 mins in the wonderful city of Bloomington.

On the same day Tina graduated from NIU with a degree in Clinical Laboratory Science. Wow! She still has some classes to finish up but she wanted to walk with her friends (good choice by the way). She is looking for employment and trusting God whole heartedly. Double wow! I can't wait to see how He leads her and teaches her!

Then of course it was Mother's Day. We celebrated by attending church with mom and dad, followed with a meal at Grandma's. Always a good combination. Mom is the best.

Tina and I then scurried back to DeKalb for Lauren and Tom's graduation party at OUR house (emphasis added for Tina's sake). Where we got to chat with family and friends and learn a lot about farming pigs. ;) Thank you Rodefers (sp?)!

Once the party dwindled down Lauren and Kyle faced off with Tina and I in a game of Cranium and friend's Scene It! Needless to say they kicked our butts but we did try.

Somewhere in all of that I became quite sick. So I have Nyquil or Dayquil pumping through my system 24/7 now...but it has reminded me to slow down. I love my family! I am so proud of my sisters. My mom is the greatest. My roommates are awesome. It has been a full weekend...just a brief glimpse at a full life for which I am ever so grateful!

Teaching Story

2006-05-09T21:36:00.000-05:00

This is a book that I can relate to. It was a super fast read.

Reading Lewis

2006-05-02T22:06:00.000-05:00

This is an excellent read for anyone who has any interest whatsoever in mythology. This is classic C.S. Lewis with rich detail, full allegory, beautiful symolism, and excellent quotes. I learned a lot about beauty, worth, trust, and love. It was timely. I loved it. It was a good investment of my time and money.

SSR and Wicket

2006-05-01T21:35:00.000-05:00

My students have been begging for me to let Wicket bounce around the room for a while now. But I have been fearful for his safety. Fifth graders jump around a lot when excited and he is a small guy that can be downright hard to catch. He is a very skittish animal and he just likes to take his dear sweet time being curious. He does enjoy his explorations and he needs the out-of-cage-exercise. I have had a hard time seeing how these two seemingly conflicting needs could be met. But today I came up with a great plan. I decided to get him out of his cage during our Silent Sustained Reading(SSR) Time. The kids are extremely quiet (and still) then and they would be occupied enough with their reading to not be too focused on(and/or bored by) his reclusive, skitterish, nocturnal tendencies.

So with some careful introductions and some longer than normal "settling in" time we were ready for Wicket's release. All went wonderfully. It was so funny to watch him explore and then he would come running back to me whenever he was startled. I thought that this was particularly interesting since he has previously ignored me when I let him out. But I guess I was his point of reference for today. Hopefully more such successes will be made in this area in the weeks to come.

BTW only three weeks and four days (one of which is a half day) till school is out for the summer! It seems too good to be true. I love teaching. I love summer. Now is a good time to be me.

Auction

2006-04-29T23:10:00.000-05:00

Tonight was the 10th annual school auction. We had a western theme so I got to braid my hair, wear cowboy boots and randomly yell, "Yah-hoo!" I love this event because as a teacher I am only asked to be there. I don't need to watch any kids or prepare for it in any way. It is so nice to be able to just relax and enjoy my co-workers and parents involved.

I was fortunate enough to get to play Vana White for the live auction. So I struck quite a few entertaining poses to try to sell stuff. Some people have some pictures out there that could easily be used to blackmail me.

My dad and Simon came to support me. They bought a yellow cake and a gift for me....drum roll please!.... the VIP teacher parking space! Ahhh! Life is grand! No more putzing across that horrid bridge in the dead of winter, in the rain, in the wind...I get to park right next to the door! Life is good. My daddy spoils me. And I love him!

Then came the line dancing. I am horrible and I have a hard time remembering when I had so much fun. Seriously just trying to dance is fun...it doesn't matter if you are any good at it...it just matters that you try and try I did. And laugh I did. And it was so great. Again there are more blackmail pictures out there somewhere.

The auction was a blast. Let's do it again sometime!

Spa Day

2006-04-28T21:28:00.000-05:00

Today has been a day for some much needed rejuvenation. I have converted my bathroom into a spa. I have lounged. I have lit glowing candles. I have poured over books and magazines. I have basked in the purple and blue twinkle lights. I have hummed along with the soothing crooners like Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald. I have sipped luxurious tea. I have even danced.

Forgotten

2006-04-27T20:30:00.000-05:00

No one will remember yesterday's chapel mishap. Because today we made the 5 o'clock news. It was a short clip for which our PR people are very grateful. Two high school students walked off of our campus this morning. They were told to stop by their administrator and they disobeyed. Their parents and the police were called immediately. Now, no one can find them. They have been missing for about 12 hours at this point. My heart breaks for their parents. That is a long time to go with no answers. I pray for them, their safety, I pray that they come back of their own will, I pray for our administrators who have suddenly been thrust into a very negative spotlight, and I pray for their families. It has been a long day. May tomorrow bring good news.

Chapel Day

2006-04-26T21:10:00.000-05:00

Today it was my responsibility to "do" chapel. Basically that means that I needed to find a speaker or...put on a play. Well, I had already found a speaker for last semester's chapel duty so I thought it was time to give the play option a try. If nothing else it was time to decide which is easier. ;)

I decided to play it safe by choosing a play that was included in our Bible curriculum that way I was sure to offend as few people as possible. This play happened to be a news broadcast. I decided that we would rehearse and then record the play the week before our chapel date (April 26) so that we could edit any ghastly errors and we wouldn't need to worry about someone being out sick or forgetting his/her lines. I also decided to allow the students to use their scripts or cue cards during the actual recording because it was a long play and we had a lot of other work to be doing and I didn't want to hear any excuses about play practice being the reason for late math papers.

The costumes were to be brought from home as were any props that were needed. After several weeks of reading through the play I borrowed a camera and tripod and we set to work. It took two days to shoot a 20 minute production.

I wasn't overly thrilled with the work. I was certainly not nominating us for any awards. I did however consider starting some sort of drama outlet to teach them how to act...but that was a very fleeting thought.

The first chapel that was to view the video was the K-3rd grade chapel. I teach math during this time Does this mean that I am required to be in two places at once?...yes it does. However, I thought that my video plan was brilliant. I set up the TV/VCR, double checked cables and sound, arranged for someone to lead a couple of songs and introduce the film and I left contentedly to teach my math class about division with decimals.

Thirty minutes into math my administrator walks in to talk to me. The video was boring, hard to hear/understand, and l-o-n-g...he couldn't bear to sit through it a second time...I asked him if he wanted me to come up with something else to do for the 4-6th grade chapel. (I had about 14 minutes to prepare something else) But he said that they could just suffer through.

Not quite the rave reviews I was hoping for. Fourteen minutes later I was quieting the 4-6th grade crowd to watch the "horror" that was this film. And it turns out that I think that Tom was just having an off day. These kids didn't have a heard time hearing or understanding...they listened (and laughed at the right parts) and nodded knowingly. I was pleasantly surprised.

But I do hope that this gets me out of future chapel obligations. I had joked about it earlier this week...and after Tom's response I just might never have another chapel day quite like today. :)

Quiet

2006-04-13T23:25:00.000-05:00

My life has been joyously quiet over this spring break. It has been a refreshing harbinger of summer thus far. I tell you I could live like this.

Witty

2006-04-10T21:53:00.000-05:00

Lauren and I stopped to purchase fuel after small group tonight. As we were pulling away we noticed a friend at the pump next to us. Lauren rolled down her window and said to me, "Think of something witty to say!" *shakes head*

I have been laughing ever since. I guess I don't have it in me.

As of 3:21

2006-04-07T17:38:00.000-05:00

I traded in my business casual for sweat pants and tank tops. I don't plan on wearing anything other than pajama material for the next week. I lost my shoes...All of them. I will go barefoot...Ok, I might carry a pair of flip flops with me so that I can walk into grocery stores and the post office. I unplugged my hair dryer. I won't be needing it. I plugged in my CD player. I won't stop listening to it. I opened my windows. There is a whole world out there. I have emptied the trash. Done my laundry. Matched my socks. Sorted my mail. Paid my bills. Called my mom. Watched Oprah. The news. Checked my e-mail. I have gotten so much done in two hours.

I have so many plans. 254 more hours of spring break. Life is good.

The wallowing must end

2006-04-04T21:06:00.000-05:00

*WARNING: I am in a seriously sappy mood*

I am not entirely sure where these moods come from. Maybe it was my introduction to the Charlotte Bronte romantic classic, or maybe it was my over exposure to the dizzying sunshine, or maybe I just haven't taken the time to be this "in-touch" with my feelings in a while...but the point is that right now I am wallowing in emotionalism. I cry during good movies, commercials, piano practice, and test grades. I bought two (2) different kinds of ice cream when I went grocery shopping.

All I know is that the wallowing must end...soon.

Other than that...life is good. :D

Spring

2006-03-29T21:13:00.000-06:00

Spring is creeping up. I can feel it brewing. I have a week and a half till our spring break...but honestly I just keep forgetting that it is even there at all. It seems like it should have come and gone by now. It is going to be one glorious dawning realization each and every one of those ten vacation days. Life is good.

Fast Forward Schedule

2006-03-24T22:55:00.000-06:00

I have discovered a fascinating new diet that is working incredibly right now. It is called Sleeping-Through-Or-Simply-Skipping-Every-Meal-That-You-Possibly-Can. I have stumbled on this diet entirely by accident. I have had a very busy week...which has led to me missing most of my lunches and dinners. And because I have been staying up late to finish all of my work I have been sleeping in to the last possible moment (which happens to be 7:14am..please note that this is Trisha-alarm-clock-time which everyone knows is actually more like 6:44am in the real world)and thus skipping breakfast. Because of this fast forward schedule I have been exhausted! Today, I decided to take a nap after school. I climbed in bed at 6:00pm (again in Trisha-alarm-clock-time) and I just got up moments ago. I vaguely remember the alarm that I set going off around 7:00pm but I just hit a couple of buttons on the alarm (which I thought, in my sleepiness, was resetting it for 8:00...but it looks like I reset the time and not the alarm) and silenced the thing. I have missed another meal and now I am surprisingly "awake." Don't worry though, I am sure that I will get sleepy again soon. I could sleep forever when I am in this hectic-schedule/missing-meals/quite-possibly-coming-down-with-strep-throat-time-of-life. The really great news is that now I will be able to get up really early tomorrow so that I can get right to work...I have so much that I want to get done this weekend....

Tag World Affair

2006-03-24T22:47:00.000-06:00

Sorry for my absence I have been cheating on blogger by having a tag world affair. I have not had much time to spend blogging (more on that later) so any time that I have had was spent over at tag world. I am momentarily fascinated, but blogger will always be "home." It feels good to have spell check again!

All the Wrong Places

2006-03-15T22:53:00.000-06:00

Ok...I have a problem...I am totally in love with coffee. I can go for days or weeks without it...but then I help myself to one dose of the stuff and I am a complete junkie. I am totally out of my mind crazy on this stuff. A couple of shots of espresso and I am incapable of making rational decisions. The edges of my perception blur and I find myself blissfully content and happy under any circumstances. If I were a super hero...coffee would be my weakness...my Achilles’ tendon...my undoing...my nemesis....But its not like it pains me. Rather, I cannot get enough of the stuff! It is like sleeping with the enemy. It kind of reminds me of Mr. and Mrs. Smith...I digress.

We all do stupid things. And I have wanted a tattoo for ages. But seriously, tattoo parlors should require a "cool down" period or something to keep those like me from being stupid. My only hesitation in getting a tattoo was that I wasn't sure what I wanted permanently imprinted on my body. Looks like the coffee really got to me. And you thought that I was joking when I said that this stuff is like completely intoxicating to me. I can't believe they serve this to people trying to sober them up!

The plus side is that I wasn't driving.

Happy to Report

2006-03-05T21:15:00.000-06:00

Have you ever noticed how quiet life seems when everything is just going "fine?" Nothing too perfect, no huge tragedies, but a simple, comfortable routine that is manageable with just enough of a "challenge" to make it interesting. I am happy to report that I have settled into just such an existence.

I, for one, am really enjoying this calm and peace. I have been reading more. Talking less. Listening whole heartedly. I have even had time to watch TV (a lot of TV!) and play video games. Welcome to my world of luxury. I am basking in the fact that I have nothing much to say...because nothing in my world is all that earth shattering. I like it like that ....... for today.

Tag Along

2006-02-26T13:35:00.000-06:00

I rode with Tom and Lauren to church today. I was in a very pleasant and agreeable mood. Having established that fact they asked if I would like to join them after church in running a couple of errands. So after church we had lunch, stopped at Best Buy and Farm and Fleet. Somehow I managed to spend nearly $100...they spent $1.11...I really shouldn't tag along.

But I did need a functional mouse (of the computer variety) as mine has entirely spazed out beyond my control.

I also managed to buy the best boots ever! I put them on as soon as we got into the car. Tom scoffed at my excitement over them...but I assured him that he should get used to such childishness. These great boots remind me of my childhood fetish with all things western. For the most part I was a girly-girl but I had a weakness for anything that I deemed "cowgirl-ish." Good times.

We also went to an open house. Houses in these here parts are far too pricey. You could buy the same house in Dixon and save yourself $100,000. But then you would live in Dixon and not here...obviously.

What time is it?

2006-02-23T22:53:00.000-06:00

I went to the first class tonight with Dan and Laura Krupa...good times. They lured me there with the promise of free coffee. Not to mention the fact that I love classes of any kind. Anyhow, I got a regular coffee. And now that I see that it is nearly 11pm and I am still bouncing off of the walls I am thinking that my coffee choice was probably not the wisest of ideas. Oops. When will I learn to order decaf?

Hung in the Balance

2006-02-22T21:25:00.000-06:00

How is it that I have passed every math class I have ever taken with above average grades, I teach 5th grade math, I have survived calculus, trigonometry, geometry, algebra, number theory....and yet, I still cannot balance a check book?

Seriously! What is my problem? I hate writing checks all together. I avoid it at all costs. Most of my bills are automatically withdrawn from my checking account. Automatic withdrawal is supposed to simplify things, for all that I need to do is jot down the amount withdrawn in the check register. But that never happens quite right.

I have added and re-added; double- and triple-checked each entry; examined each line of my statement; called customer service; pushed all the right buttons...but I cannot get it to work out...I have somehow spent $10.50 without my bank realizing it.

I want to just wipe the slate clean...start over, fresh and new with the balance that the bank declares to be true...but as soon as I do this... calamity is sure to follow in the form of a $33 overdraft fee. It is inevitable. I am doomed to fight these numbers for the rest of the evening.

iam

2006-02-18T20:43:00.000-06:00

Someday to share this burden is my dream
Today to share this dream is my burden

Warming winds awaken earthen dreamers
Sleepy yawns escape politely dancing
Away never to be seen again by
Drooping eyelids blinking faster in this
Foreign springstorm sweeping quickly into
Gales of laughter never ceasing to be
Noticed by the dreamers' newfound senses

Speaking of quiescent love beyond their
Understanding Skys above reflecting
Hopes and dreams of long forgotten artists
Young and old remember songs that of these
Days foretold unceasing peace o'er flowing
Now these days have come to pass with sun filled
glory radiating untold mercies
untold bliss before unwhispered now free