Pushing Jordan
So I said something really mean and stupid on Sunday and I am really feeling rather horrid about it. Jordan has called me a couple of times over the expanse of the last few weeks and I have not returned his calls or I have explained that I was not able to talk at the current moment and would have to get back to him (which I never did). This was not intentional...Well, not horribly intentional. I was busy, and his messages were something like, "well, I just wanted to talk, nothing too important, give me a call when you have time." So I just blew it off as nothing too important. But then I went and had to be all mean about it.Jordan came up during our little meet-and-greet time at church and was all, "you never called me!" With all this fake righteous indignation...I knew that he was just giving me a hard time and that it was no big deal, but he irked me so I just smiled and said, "I guess I was just too busy, was there something that you needed to tell me?"
"Not really, I was just calling to talk, you know, kind of..."
"...Testing to see if the lines of communication were still open?"
"yeah!"
"and now that I have repeatedly avoided your calls for two weeks how do you feel about those lines of communication?"
"confused"
"good" I then turned and walked away.
I am a jerk, plain and simple. My not returning his phone calls was not a function of the fact that I in any way desired to confuse him, I simply had been too busy, distracted, not overly concerned that he really needed to talk with me. But instead of being honest, I saw a way to be cruel and I pounced on it...in church! How pathetic! I just wanted to mess with his head and so I did. That is highly inappropriate and I am going to go find that boy right now and apologize. I have had way too much time to think about it and now I am truly starting to loath myself.
What exactly is my issue with pushing people?
posted by Trisha @ 1:49 PM
