Yikes!
Today I had to tell my employer that I would be looking for another position. Ouch! It was really hard. I was shaking all day. I called him but I had to leave a voice mail and then the waiting began. I guess it went pretty well though. And I found a sub easily enough. Now I just need to finish tweaking my resume. I am so excited. I am so scared. And I just keep shaking. I pray for calm.
Warm Enough
You know that your apartment is warm enough when you feel entirely comfortable walking around it in swimsuit apparel in February.
Job Fair
I am scared to go to the Job Fair...It's Monday. Blah! It's the most horrid feeling and it always makes me want to cry...before, during and after. Is it really worth it? I can only hope.
My husband
I teach grammar using a curriculum that I compare to verbally diagramming sentences. It is an interesting method. The students test very well, but I see very little of that knowledge being reflected in their writing. However, this is of no consequence for the purposes of this post. (If you happen to
actually be curious about the curriculum you can see
an example of a sentence that my class verbally diagrams daily!)
The writers of this curriculum are very bizarre. For while they could be promoting all sorts of "character counts" type movements instead they chose to write childish, non-sensical, irrelevant or rude sentences. For example, yesterday we ran through a question and answer flow about a boy spitting on his mother's freshly cleaned kitchen floor, which sparked quite a discussion on respect and sanitation. But today's sentence was my favorite.
"My husband is a sports nut during football season."
Who is a sports nut during football season?- Husband- Subject Noun
What is being said about husband?- Husband is- Verb
Husband is what?- nut- Verify the noun
Does husband mean the same thing as nut?- Yes!- Nut- Predicate Noun...
...At this point I start cracking up. I mean, did you hear that last sentence? "Does husband mean the same thing as nut?" and the appropriate answer is "yes"?!?!?!?...You've got to be kidding me. Oh, this
Shurley gal must have been
one bitter lady. I am still laughing about it.
chattering
You know how I get in the car and I am really more than "kind-of" cold and my teeth start to chatter...
and they just keep on chattering and I try to talk but it really doesn't work...
and you laugh at me...
and then we go someplace warm, but my teeth are still chattering for the longest time...
and you laugh at me...
but I just can't stop...
and I laugh and I chatter and the chattering exceeds the laughing....
and it turns into a shaking that is uncontrollable...
and you laugh at me...
I was just thinking about that...
and now my teeth won't stop chattering...
and I am laughing
Dixon
Today was a whirlwind tour of Dixon. I was just visiting for the slew of family birthdays that happen to fall in this blessed month. I have concluded that I am going to have to start reading the Dixon paper online because there is far too much that goes on there without my knowledge...and then when I go back it proves to be quite a shock. For example, they blew up the bridge. Ahhhh!
The gift
All night last night my cat was jumping up onto the bookshelf next to my bed. This is no horrific deed in and of itself, however, for his own amusement, I am sure, he kept batting at my alarm clock until it would fall to the floor.
I have a small battery powered alarm clock ...For several reasons ...The first of which being that I am paranoid that the power will go out and I will not get up in time for whatever event I have planned for the day. I have nightmares about being late. Sad. I also like my small alarm because it travels well. And, perhaps most importantly, I can pick it up and hit snooze, then hold it in my hand as I burrow myself under the blankets for another 9 minutes of sleep, holding it with me under the massive amounts of blankets piled high on my bed keeps me from diving my sister nuts with the repetitive snooze alarms.
so the cat keeps knocking my alarm to the floor. I hear this and retrieve it several times. Each time carefully checking the time. I was afraid that if it stayed on the floor I may not hear it go off. An entirely irrational fear considering that I awoke each time it plunked to the carpet. It was a pain finding it each time. Every time I tried to lean out of bed rubbing my hand methodically in search of the missing alarm, but each time it required me crawling out of my warm cocoon to locate it. This "amusement" grew irritating in a hurry. I rationalized that if I woke up each time it fell surely I would wake up when it sounded in the morning. At last I left it on the floor.
My cat is pawing my head. Stupid cat! I shake him off, thinking that he is being especially irritating this morning. He usually waits quite patiently for me to wake up, get dressed and then feed him.
The cat starts meowing. Shut up! I bury my head under my pillows but he doesn't stop. Argh. I glance at the clock. No clock. Oh, yeah, the floor. I get out of bed locate the battery...That's weird, why is there a random battery lying on the floor? Then reality hit hard. Battery=alarm...Frantically I find the alarm without its power source! Shoot...What time is it? I run to the kitchen. 7:45. Thank God its a jean day at school, I throw on clothes...Anything...Run to the bathroom simultaneously splashing water on my face and brushing my teeth. I left my apartment 8 minutes later. 7:53. We have a staff meeting at 7:50, and it takes me 20 minutes get to school. I console myself with the fact that the kitchen clock it at least 5 minutes fast...So I will only be about 15 minutes late.
I approached the stoplight and that is when my stomach gets this surreal, "something-is-really-wrong-with-this-situation-feeling." What was it? Something was most assuredly amiss. I drove this way everyday. I waited impatiently and uneasily for the red light to change. I had my bookbag. I was fully clothed. I had somehow managed to braid my hair, brush my teeth...Whatever it was that was the cause for my unease surely it couldn't be too horrible so as to further complicate the day. Another glance at the light...At least the sun isn't glaring in my eyes like it usually does. The past several mornings the sun has been directly behind the stoplight making it impossible to see, so impossible that I would watch the lights for the other direction and go when they turned red. But today no glare. Where was the sun? I surveyed the sky noticing, for the first time, that there was no sun in the perfectly cloudless sky. It was light out. But the sun was still under the horizon. I pushed the radio dial to display the time. 6:58. My shook my head in disbelief.
All of this because I can't read anything but a digital clock...At least not at 6:45 in the morning. I drove the rest of the way to school regretting the decision to forego make-up in my haste. *sigh* after a fright like that I arrived at school realizing that I had about 40 minutes to kill before the staff meeting, I had, after all, decided last night that I could sleep today because my classroom was ready. So while the morning had a rough start I was never so grateful for the gift of 40 minutes...Not because I needed the time but because I have nightmares about being late. Sad.
Wedding
I think that someone should get married soon so that I can help plan their wedding. I am in a mood. Besides I haven't done that for a while. And I have some really fantastic ideas. Let me know.
Bebo
If you have not yet heard about or checked out
www.bebo.com than I think that you are really missing out on something great!
It's an address book that is done over the internet so that people on your contacts list can update their information whenever necessary and it automatically updates their info for everyone in their book.
So if I get rid of my e-mail address or run over my cell phone and have to switch numbers all I do is log in...Change the information...And all of my contacts have my most current contact info...It is a
miracle! Plus they have photo sharing and journals and comments so you can post pictures....And comment on your friends' pics and leave little journaling messages detailing just how you managed to destroy
yet another cell phone-complete with pictures of the deceased phone...And your friends can leave mocking comments....It really is a win-win situation. Check it out.
and they didn't even pay me to advertise. :P
valentine's day brought flowers
Dreams
I was reading some Shakespeare last night and let me tell you did it ever mess with my dreams...I was actually despairing over the loss of it all this morning when I woke up because in my dream I was astounded to hear everyone speaking in perfect iambic pentameter...I kept listening for a flaw but there was none. And that was when I realized that I was doing it too. As I awoke I was saddened that I would not be hearing beautiful English all day...And that's when I got to thinking that dreams are some miraculous blessing, I mean think of all of the iambic pentameter that my brain generated in order to produce such a massive volume of poetic script and this morning I can remember nothing but its beauty. What a waste. What a gift. I have heard that the brain stores every bit of information ever presented to it with 100% accuracy and the only problem with the brain is its ability (or inability to recall said information). If this were true (which I believe its truth would be impossible to scientifically prove or disprove) then it is easy to see why I could dream hours of conversation in perfect fluidity. If however this is not true and my brain just randomly came up with all of that just for the sake of one dream, I don't think that my sleep is very restful.
but then maybe I wasn't speaking in perfect iambic pentameter...Maybe the dream was just that I
thought that I was. Thoughts to ponder flood my brain...In no particular order.
Outbreak
It was my sister's brain child of an idea....she thought that it would be a good idea to watch Outbreak while I am sick. Ha ha, very funny, pass the tissues, if I develop any red splotches on my face just shoot me now.
Overheard
I overheard the following comment, "the clock doesn't work but its a nice clock." And I thought to myself a clocks
purpose is to
work so if it doesn't fulfill its purpose how "nice" can it be? I think that this is another example of how sad it is when materialism takes over a well meaning mind...How can a broken clock be good?
So good that they are currently planning the living room's future decor around it. Sad.
Logical Conclusions
My students are working on making logical conclusions based on the "evidence" that is given to them on these worksheets that I am forced to have them complete.
Evidence: When it is hot, I get a drink of water. It is hot.
Conclusion: ___________________________________
and then they need to write the
Answer: (I get a drink of water)
simple yes? You try one.
Evidence: Every weekend I get sick. This is the weekend
Conclusion: _____________________
defeated
today i am a day too late
why wasn't i here yesterday?
why is the entire cosmos against this?
tonight i am hating where i am
i am listening to the soundtrack of life and pondering how i didn't know what it all meant before today
it's really rather clear
but this clarity is a day late
i've lost again
maybe i was never meant to be found
enjoyable
God really is good. That's not just something to say or to hope in. It's true. I have been praying about all of this junk in my life, but not in the "throw my fleece on the ground" sort of way. I have really just been content to give it away. I guess I finally realized that I am not as special as I thought, I mean, maybe this
is the plan. Not only have I miraculously become o.k. with that, but life has been genuine. I don't feel numb and overwhelmed. I don't entertain the questions. I realize now that it is time to pursue something in my life.
