Too Much
I have been kinda jumpy since I started living alone. Don't get me wrong....I am loving it, but there are a few random moments when I have over reacted. Por ejemplo...I was dusting. I scooped up some papers and books and things off of an isolated shelf. Months ago something glass had shattered in that general area, I don't really even remember what it was, but as I grabbed up the contents of that shelf I sliced my finger on something sharp. It was an awkward cut, deep, and very bloody...and my very first thought as I first saw my blood was "what if I die alone here?" Thankfully that didn't send me into a panic ;) but as I was digging glass out of my finger for the next several minutes I laughed at myself for over reacting.
The next night I didn't really want to go to bed. I was randomly scared of the dark (I will never understand this fear and its ability to come and go). However, I convinced myself that all would be well. I considered praying about it before I went to sleep...you know, kneel beside the bed, ask God to protect you...but I somehow thought that it was too foolish a request and that I just needed to go to sleep. Sleep was not altogether possible. I kept hearing sounds. Weird noises. After checking and rechecking locks I finally demanded that I close my eyes and not move a muscle rationalizing that sooner or later my own exhaustion and sleep would meet. I was just drifting into a trance like sleep when I was sure that I heard someone opening a window in my living room. It was unmistakable. I contemplated the options, I went to switch on my light and realized that our stupid power was out again. So I waited and told myself I was crazy. Then I heard someone step onto the kitchen tile. I honestly thought I was going to die. After silently locking my bedroom door I inched slowly to my bed where I knelt down and fervently prayed...I didn't care how "childish" it was. At some point I did fall asleep. The next morning I was convinced that I had over reacted and dreamed it all up. That is until I saw the window screen laying next to the window. Then I was just thankful that I knew how to pray.
posted by Trisha @ 10:31 PM
