Did you feel it?
There was an earthquake last night...did you feel it? It was the coolest thing! I was just hanging out with Nikki when we felt it, so then we went and looked up all sorts of earthquake
info on the web, lots of fun. But it was not nearly as reading certain profiles on a Christian dating service site. I have not laughed so hard in many moons! This one guy said under the "describe your personality" question that he, "can identify anything vague" (among other things) since when is that a part of one's personality? And just what exactly does that mean in the first place? When someone says, "that red thingy" does he respond assuredly, "the stop sign"? Or does he mean that when someone says, "that red thingy" he identifies that statement by saying, "that's a vague statement"? Maybe it was a typo and he meant to say "I can identify
with anything vague" because it certainly seems to me as if he could have been more specific as to his meaning. But, hey, what can you expect from a guy that enjoys "thinking about anything in a whiteboard" *laughter* ...too funny. This profile reading turned out to be more entertaining than watching
Waiting for Guffman which I find to be on of the funniest activities. *sigh* Good times. As you may imagine I am not planning on starting any online romances any time soon, I'll leave that to Kate and John *wink, wink* But this may very well be the beginning of a lifelong interest in seismology.
Spending money
I need to stop spending money. Money that I don't have. But there seems to be so very much that I need right now as I am preparing for my first year teaching 5th grade. I have bought so many books recently. And the scholastic order form just arrived at my house...
But for the very first time in a long time I am not worried about money. And I feel like I have failed some sort of test. Because I am always worrying about money. Will there be enough? And I don't ever stop worrying until it is taken care of. I need to trust more. But it is so very hard for me to trust...I guess I just assume that God expects me to take care of myself in that particular area. And in some respects he does. I need to use the education and talents that God has given me to do the job that He has provided. I need to use wisdom in my spending, saving, and investing. But more than all of that I need to not worry. It is hard to not worry.
I feel like I have needs that are not being met right now. I feel like I need immediately, I can't wait for some of this stuff. But that is not true. I can wait. There is a lot that I can do without. And so, with patience, and without worry, I will prepare for school knowing that God has a plan.
Drive alone
I spent a lot of time in my car on Monday which was good. It almost even made me wish that the school that I had chosen to work at was not quite so close to my home. It made me remember the advantages of a long commute. The silence, the time for reflection, the peace. But as I was driving and listening to a radio program I started to laugh at something that the speaker was talking about. And I kept glancing over at the seat next to mine and wishing that there was someone there to share it with. I had suddenly remembered why I disliked commuting so much. There was no one to share it with. So I started feeling all sorry for myself and I changed the radio station.
It was while I was there that I learned some very valuable insights from a certain Dr. James Dobson. And I realized that there was a very specific purpose in my driving alone. A purpose that outweighs the discomfort of solitude. A purpose that is better than something that I could have dreamed up. A purpose that would not have been fulfilled if I were not to drive alone...and I am glad, thankful even, that I have seen a small glimpse of this purpose. And I am not disappointed. Rather I am intrigued. I wonder what new things I have to learn today?
E-bay
I just found e-bay...this could be a terrible thing (for my bank account). But so far it looks like a b-e-a-u-tiful friendship. :) I love books. Especially when they are high quality and low cost. This has been a very happy day. I just won four class sets in the past two days (Frindle, Holes, Twenty & Ten, and the Wanderer) and I am so excited! Just thought I should allow this happiness to overflow a bit!
Moving Back
I am moving back to my parents' house for a few months this summer. I am actually looking forward to spending time with my mom, I miss her a lot. But I think that I am going to be ready to move back in about 12 days...we shall see. ;)
I am leaving today, in just a few hours actually, as crazy as that is, I am still not done packing, I am having such a hard time pulling it all together. I just want to take it
all with me. I am so afraid that I am going to leave something here that I am going to need. Especially something for school. I am the teacher after all I should know what I need but.... :P
I hope that Westley likes it at Mom and Dad's, my brothers really bugged him when we were there for Christmas, I am just hoping that he remains that good kitten that I have come to know and love. He really is so much better behaved now than he used to be.
I am
really excited about school these days. It is all that I can think about. I have spent so much time getting this silly library ready. Countless hours sifting through books, cataloging titles, recording information, writing summaries, updating my knowledge of children's literature. Whew! It has been exhausting...but enjoyable.
I really love doing this. (Let's see how long that attitude lasts!) It will get so much more complicated as the countdown to the first day of school approaches but for now...I am enjoying this. I am feeling highly organized (in the midst of moving no less!), and in control of my life. Everything is going exactly as planned. I wouldn't change a thing. I haven't been this happy in months.
"fine" / "fine?" / "fine!" / "fine?" / "fine!"
What a hubbub of activity my past few days have been. I am just so glad that I have had the ability to literally drop everything and run as necessary. These last few days have been filled with packing, filing, organizing, scary phone calls, long letters, car smash ups, emergency rooms, insurance companies, parents, siblings, headaches, backaches, whiplash, bruises, ice packs, ibprofen, nausea, check-ups, trading cars, moving schedules, changing leases, paying bills, balancing check books, losing money, calculating, checking, re-calculating, finding money, crying. I have been busy. I have been good.
Now you may look at that lengthy list and think to yourself, "good? Perhaps, dillusional?"
But I insist that I have been good. Blessed. Miracles have happened.
I know what I want......I want to be alone.
I know what I need......I need to be productive.
I know what makes me happy......here and now.
I know how to organize my library....Microsoft Works Database (thanks Jordan!)
I know I can breathe again....everyone has promised to drive safely.
I know how to wait.....with plenty of magazines (thanks Kish. ER)
I know how to hope.....look up (thanks Jen)
I know how to dream....with my heart (thanks mom)
I know how to laugh....loud and often (thanks Tina)
I know how to tease....gently with smiles (thanks Whit)
I know how to anticipate...with your gut while embracing the present.
I know how to succeed...give it to God.
I know how to rejoice. (thanks be to God).
see? I have been busy. I have been good.
I Don't Think So
Still, reading through the Sunday paper when I came to this article.
Chicago Tribune | Fortunately, she said yes
I was just talking with a friend who is planning a surprise party for her parents 25th wedding anniversary....and it is a lot of work in the first place (I only know this from my slight involvement in planning my own parents' anniversary celebration...Which is not even a surprise!) Hosting such large surprise parties are very difficult. But this guy is brave beyond all measure to plan a surprise wedding. Not only was it a surprise for the bride but also for all of the guests (with the exception of a few who were in the know). He had to pull a double surprise convincing his bride that she was attending a party for friends and convincing all of the guests that they were attending a surprise birthday party for the bride.
I am glad that it worked out for him but...I would just like it to be known that I would never appreciate a surprise wedding. Just in case anyone was wondering. The trouble with a surprise wedding is that she could have said "no." Sometimes making the right decision takes time and sometimes it even hurts people. This guy was blessed but I hope that guys reading this article don't get it into their heads that they should try this. This is definitely the exception and not the rule.
What a Joke
As I was sifting through today's morning paper (which will take me the entire week to read) I came upon this article in the
Chicago Tribune | Putting the brakes on ladies' nights. And I thought to myself..."Just what is the world coming to when a
guy is complaining about "ladies' night" at his local bars?" He is claiming that he is being sexually discriminated against because he is being charged an admittance fee. What a complete idiot! I mean, how many brain cells did this guy have to kill before he got to this point?
I don't drink. So I guess that it doesn't really effect me that a court ruled in this guys favor and has said that "ladies' night" is illegal. However, it struck me as funny. I don't think that many of the males that I know will be too pleased with this guy. As far as I know, guys liked having bars that were frequented by women. And the last time that I checked women have always been drawn to a "deal." How many times have I heard girls exclaim something to the effect of, "I try to think of how much I saved vs. how much I had to spend to save that much." Yes, it is a dumb ploy but women are known for falling for it. We like free stuff. Have you ever been to Wal-Mart on a Saturday morning? Free samples everywhere! And who are the ones crowded around the displays? Women. It never fails. Offer us a bargain and we flock to it. Too bad this bargain has been deemed "discrimination." What's next? Locker rooms? Restrooms? These are places that have traditionally been sexually discriminating...Should we have unisex facilities instead? I mean I wouldn't want to upset a guy who wanted to use the ladies' room...
What a joke!
I am
Who knew? Man, I am going to miss this. Come on, can't someone think up a really good reason for why I should be a college student forever?
Too bad, so sad.
Files
I file. When I really feel out of control. When I have no idea what to do. When I have big decisions to make. I file. Everything. Birthday Cards. Lesson Plans. Bulletin board ideas. Class notes. Play bills. Games. Stickers. Anything that I can make fit into a file. Art. Magazines. Letters. Old I.D.'s. Pencils. And if I cannot make it fit I'll take a picture or write up a description.
It is a way of gaining control. Organization. A sense of completion.
Today I filed. I am no where near done. It has been a while since I have been inside one of these funks.
Cornerstone called me this morning and wanted to know what my decision was. Sycamore is not even going to look at my application for "a few weeks." I called my mom.
Mom said that I should ask for two weeks from Cornerstone. IF they say no, plead for two days. If Sycamore gets their act together in two weeks then good for them, if not I'll stick with what I have been offered. If Cornerstone won't give me more time then I will spend the next two days praying, deciding if I can live with myself as a private school teacher for the next 12 months.
Mom said that I always make these things more complicated than they really are. She knows me pretty well.
Mom said that maybe God is trying to make it painfully obvious where I should be by only giving me one job option. A good point.
I always make these things more complicated than they really are.
There really is only one option at this point.
I need to go file something.
No Cats Allowed
I had to go into the office today to tell them that I had lost the key to my mailbox.
"Good afternoon!" said the receptionist.
"Hi! I kind of have a problem," I said.
"Oh? What can I do for you?"
"Well, I lost my mail key."
"What apt number?"
"14"
"yeah, it has been quite a pain. I have been catching the mailman everyday and he is getting a little fed up with all of that. But I really just thought that it would turn up, ya know? I mean since we all share the one key we always hang it on the key hooks right next to the door. I don't know what could have happened to it. Maybe my cat ate it..."
oops.
We aren't supposed to have cats in my apartment and here I was in the main office announcing to the world that not only do I have a feline friend but that he causes problems.
Actually, I wasn't in the main office yet...
lucky for me I have this fear of phones and secretaries. So before I ever talk to them I rehearse what it is that I am going to say so that they have as little opportunity as possible to get mad at me. So the entire conversation took place in my head as I was walking toward the office. I actually slapped my hand across my mouth (even though I was not talking out loud and no one was around). I stopped about 50 feet from the door and slowly replayed the conversation so as to exclude mention of the cat. Whew! It's a good thing that on occasion I think before I speak.
So I got my new mail key, without fines or scowling. It was really easy. And as I walked out I had a huge grin on my face like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland, because for a conversation that could have turned out so poorly, this one went rather well.
It sometimes pays to let the cat have your tongue.
Waiting on Sycamore
I called the Sycamore School District today to ask when they would be looking over the applications and setting up interviews. Nobody knows. "Sometime in the next few weeks," was the best answer that I could get out of the secretary. Very frustrating. How can districts survive on such flimsy organizational processes? I would think that at this stage of the game they would have a definitive plan and procedure. But, no, they will get to it when they get to it and meanwhile we just have to sit on our hands and wait. I hate waiting. It seems so irresponsible. So lazy. So worthless. I could be
doing something. They are going to lose a lot of good Teachers if they continue to proceed in this manner. We need jobs. I, for one, will go with a guaranteed position over the hope of being offered a better job.
I really want this position! And I am quite willing to do anything to get it, I just need to think of something brilliant. Something risky. Something that will get their attention. I'll have to devote some serious thinking time to this one. They can sit around and wait if they want to but I am refusing to be idle. I am going to have to gamble on this one...And if you have played "fill or bust" with me recently you know that my luck really hasn't been what it should be.
What a phone call. What a pain. What to do?
