Useless
i am useless. people today say things about how women are so busy, they have so much to do and so much to accomplish. but i look at what God wants women to do and it is rather simple (not easy but simple). but i don't measure up. i cannot do it. women are to....
submit (eph 5:22-25 22You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord. 23For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church; he gave his life to be her Savior. 24As the church submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything.) frankly i think that women get the easier of these two commands, so I am not complaining. and contrary to popular opinion, i don't think that i have an issue with authority, rather, i see my self consistently unable to whole-heartedly throw myself into any one thing. how then am i going to be able to sacrifice my dreams and ideas in order to fully and devotedly support and submit to someone else's?
be trustworthy and not hinder him (prov 31: 11Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. 12She will not hinder him but help him all her life.) i lie, therefore i am not trustworthy. and i think sometimes that my entire existence is devoted to hindering. i can be so mean and hurtful all for a joke. i can push and push and push just to get a reaction. i can be thoughtless. i can be conceited. i can be self-absorbed. these things do not enrich anybodys life!
be a hard worker (prov 31: 17She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.) i am neither strong nor hardworking
spend money wisely (prov 31:18She watches for bargains; her lights burn late into the night.) clearly i lack good financial planning skills otherwise i would have more than $2.43 in my checking account. and i sleep too much.
helpful/hospitable (prov 31:20She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy.) too busy, too self-absorbed, too many excuses
well prepared (prov 31:21She has no fear of winter for her household because all of them have warm[2] clothes. 22She quilts her own bedspreads. She dresses like royalty in gowns of finest cloth.) i may do a fine job of convincing people that i have my life pulled together but being prepared is not a strongsuit.
strong, dignified, without fear (prov 31:25She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future. ) i consistently and constantly worry, i am weak, needy, desperate at times, hardly characteristics of dignity.
kind (prov 31:26When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions.) i can be hurtful, foolish and sharp on a daily basis. i fear that no one would refer to me as kind.
respected (prov 31:28Her children stand and bless her.) my students are quick to leave.
fear of the Lord (prov 31:30Charm is deceptive,) yet i boast in any abilities that i have.
my deeds publicly declare my value. i fall so short. there is more, but this is all i can handle right now.
CornFest-ing
I am not entirely certain what is was that I was expecting..but I was rather disappointed after going CornFesting this afternoon. It turns out that this city is just as dull as I always thought that it was! :-)
I mean, I guess the thing about these small town festivals is that they have that "homey" feel to them. So maybe if you didn't grow up here it just isn't as special...I really don't know. Basically, there was food. Thats about it.
What is the attraction to elbowing through crowded streets to pay way too much money for food that clearly is not being served at health code standards? I took the sanitation class and this was anything but. Wow. And could somebody explain to me how the "family area" was the beer garden? Boy am I confused. Well, I can avoid this festival from here on out. There is no good reason why anyone should waste that much time more than once.
I didn't become
I was talking with Jordan the other night and we were comparing notes on the dissatisfactions of spiritual life, love, and work. He was explaining to me how frustrating it can be to be in a position that is so unfulfilling at work. He talked about how there is so much more to life that is just missing when you get all caught up in the day-to-day grind of commuting and computing. We were comparing and contrasting these feelings with the the dry spells and mountain top experiences of the Christian life. His enjoyment of pure physical labor was alluded to and he said something like this...
"My dad wouldn't let me take over the business [a landscaping something or other] because he [dad] said that I [Jordan] didn't got to college to mow lawns. Likewise, I didn't become a Christian to be an engineer."
There is a higher calling. More to live for. There is more out there than what I have. Jordan's dad didn't want him to mow lawns and "waste" a perfectly good education/career, because an education is valuable (or so they tell us). And a nine to five carrier is what is expected of you if you are capable. Which most of us are. Most of us are capable of living in relative luxury, this being America and all. And I am just wondering if it is worth it. Is it really a waste to work at something that you prefer in order to make time for that which you long to do? Rather than simply working in "your field" or at the highest paying site available. There is more at stake here than money. There is more to it than time. Although I am learning the value of both right now.
There is something bigger. Something to strive for. To die for. To live for. Something to spend your whole life
becoming. Jordan compared the "wasted" education senario to the theory that his Christianity would be wasted if he remained an engineer. While being an engineer is great, there is more to life than an occupation. And if your occupation interferes with your ability to become that which you are intended to be than who cares how good you are at it or how much money you made? We are all given twenty four hours a day and seven days a week. We are accountable for the time and talents that we are given. We are responsible.
There are certain things that each of us need to accomplish. Some of us need to do big things, others of us need to be humbled. God uses the people with the most unlikely of gifts to perform the greatest of feats. In our weakness God is stronger. What then is the flip side? That in our strengths we are humbled. Step out of the comfort zone and into a place were you can be broken and molded. God made a shepherd boy king of Israel and he sent kings to graze among the fields like cattle.
But look at your strengths then look at your weaknesses how very similar are the two lists when compared. Are they not indeed so often the same list? More on this to come...I am off to go cornfesting.
A day well spent
There are certain things that I hate about being busy. Things like not having the time to go for a walk, read a good book, or catch up on my e-mail. However, there are also perks to maintaining such a hectic life and today is a perfect example of such.
I feel like I have accomplished so much today. I pulled things together for my next week of school, graded papers, entered grades, filed student information, cleaned out another cabinet, laminated posters, made copies, ran to Wal*Mart, stopped at Borders, filled my car with gas, bought groceries, made dinner, cleaned the kitchen and living room, found valuable information on a unit I am starting, looked up library resources, activated my credit card, and oh, so much more. And I slept in this morning. The great thing about being so busy during the week is that you can accomplish an incredible amount of work on the weekends and it still feels like you are taking a break! I have been so relaxed today, just chilling out while checking a million and three things off of my "to-do" list. It is a wonderful perk of a non-stop lifestyle.
I am ready for my Sabbath. And I fully intend on honoring it by taking the entire day to rest. As long as one trip to the library doesn't count as work (which for me I am fairly certain that it doesn't...because I love libraries so) then I am all well and good. I should probably do some laundry, but then again that could wait until Monday. I need a laundry partner. I hate going by myself, I never can get work accomplished while at the laundry mat. About the only thing that I am good for there is conversation. Hence the need for a buddy system.
Well, after having a very successful Saturday I bid you good evening. I am going to clean my bathroom and head to bed.
A theory
I have this theory about how girls will fall in love with a guy that loves them as long as he knows a few things about winning a girl's heart. My theory has been that pretty much no matter who the guy is if he really loves a girl, then he can win her heart. The key to this is that he must be able to communicate his love to her in a language that is real to her. If he fails in communication then the theory is impossible. However, if he could be so wise as to intrinsically know how to speak her love language or if he were fortunate enough to be schooled in the translation of his love from the language that he speaks to the one that she hears...then I believe that it would end "happily ever after" for said couple.
I have reasons to support this theory but that is not what I am interested in writing about tonight.
Tonight I want to be wrong. The problem lies in the fact that I strongly believe that this theory is accurate. I am not ready to be right.
Vanity and idolatry
I have been trying to root out the source of my commitment phobia, especially as it pertains to relationships. I see no real reason for me to have plunged so deeply into this pool of isolated feelings and guarded hearts. I have been hurt. But I have suffered pain that is far less then the average person. My failed relationships have been of little consequence. I didn't really care that much at any given point. So where did all of the calloused hardness come from?
I was walking in the rain today. A good place to be when you are dealing with such vanity. I theorize that maybe my vanity is the exact source of my withdrawal. It is not as I have assumed: that others have hurt me to the point where I cower from closeness. I have no real horror stories to tell. Just stupid adolescent misplacement. Rather I have failed myself. I had a dream. Perhaps it was childish. Innocent. Naive. Impossible. But now I feel that it could never be, because of my adolescent stupidity. And therefore I have killed my own dream. Wounded my own self to the point where I no longer desire the end result without the means that I had dreamed of.
It's all about the process. It's all about the journey. The end result and the destination are important for they define the way. However life isn't in the finale it's in the moment-to-moment.
Life is not going the way that I had planned. The way that I had dreamed it up to be. I am not holding back because of some deep hurt. I am agitated at the way I have to travel. Nevermind that the destination may remain the same. I wanted it my way. I thought that I had a better plan. I put my way above God's. In that way, I am not only vain, but
Idolatrous.
Secrets I keep
I don't really like Homestar Runner anymore. I am not sure why. It is mildly humorous at times. But really it's just not my thing.
I hate the Simpsons, Saturday Night Live, country music, and pudding.
On rare occasions I crave chocolate.
I dream of moving overseas.
I am scared to death of having kids. The whole actual pregnancy is pretty freaky, but the idea that you are a parent forever makes me physically nauseous.
I hate fish. I hate they way they look, feel, taste, smell...and if they made noise I am sure that I would hate that too.
I am scared of the dark.
I hate sleeping alone.
I think that I went into the wrong profession.
Sometimes my dreams come true. Mostly when everything in them is blue.
I collect pop tabs. They are a gift.
I need alone time. I need space to breathe.
I remember vivid details of horrible things that have happened to me. But good times I remember as vague glimpses of joy.
I forget that people don't really know some of my secrets and I wonder why they push things like my not having a boyfriend.
I have been desperate enough to cut. Scared enough to do it.
I lie.
I am scared to get involved with the guy that I am interested in. But I can't stop talking to him.
I tell people online that I am happily married.
I am terrified of the thought of that much commitment.
I hate my job because I had to sign a one-year contract. Too much time. Too much responsibility. Too much tying me down.
I miss my grandpa. I remember seeing him in the hospital after he died. I can't get that close.
When I am stressed out I buy stuff. And having no money stresses me out.
sometimes I will take a shower just so that people won't notice how often I cry.
to be continued...
Love comes softly
I have had, conceivably, the worst day of my life. I wish that I could tell you all of the injustices, all of the hurts and pains...but it would cost me too much to do so. I had dared to become truly excited about this opportunity and about this experience. This disappointment of yesterday is nearly unspeakable.
I have never felt so alone.
And it is not because I was not being supported...for there were a great many people who were eager to help and to encourage me. My parents, sister, fellow suburbanite friend, distanced sister, husband, you get the idea. They were all so excited with me and for me and I love them for it. But I felt alone because I really thought that God wanted me here in this position. And then as the day came, it was just like adding insult to injury...there was simply no end to the chaos. Chaos that was entirely out of my control. And that made me wonder where in the world is God in all of this. For crying in the mud, this is supposed to be a christian school. Seeped in God. Overflowing with blessing. Exemplifying peace, joy, and love. I didn't expect perfection, or even a small piece of heaven. But I did expect people who strive to be Christ like.
But God did not fail me. I think it was a lesson in humility. I can't do it on my own. I always try to do it. By myself. Beat the world. Conquer the impossible.
Today was so much better. If each successive day were to increase exponentially the way that today increased from yesterday then I am convinced that by Friday I would be in such a state of euphoria that wild horses couldn't drag me from it. However, I think that it'll plateau at some point.
God works despite all of my weaknesses, through them even. And I am thinking that it is not going to be the horror that I anticipated. I am theorizing that love comes softly, for
me at least. I can only be swept off my feet after a sufficient amount of time has been invested. It's all a part of my oxymoronical self. Love is choice. Daily. And I am choosing to fall in love. I hope it all works out. I don't like having a broken heart.
Mostly antisocial
I am in a very anti-social mood today. It all began last night in the middle of a nerts game. Suddenly I just wanted to go home away from all of the noise and fun and people. These mood swings are hysterical. Don't tell my mom she will try to claim that I am pregnant again (small joke there). You may interpret that sentence however you want because I don't care! I am after all being mostly anti-social.
We had a potluck type meal after church today. That was hard to get through in my anti-socialness. I think that I am just starting to feel the reality that tomorrow I teach. In some ways I feel so ready, so excited and so motivated. And then I stop and look at my life and go, "what have I done?"
Maybe I am going to make the mistake of my life....
I feel way too tied down. I am commitment phobic. I just need to daily be reminded that this is where God wants me. And that God is the center. I just need to get my priorities strait. And while I want to be a good teacher. I cannot let teaching consume me. See, I feel better already! But I still have work to get done so I will appear to remain mostly antisocial.
Whats in a name?
I found this name acronym...I find these things way too amusing...heres mine...get yours!
| T | Tempting |
| R | Rare |
| I | Innocent |
| S | Smooth |
| H | Helpful |
| A | Ambitious |
Name Acronym Generator
From
Go-Quiz.com
14 hours
14 hours. The amount of time I needed to sleep before I had some sort of mental breakdown. I get stressed. Then I need sleep. Lots of sleep. So last night I got caught up. 14 hours of caught up. Its nice that it is so easy to decompress. However, finding the time for said decompression is not always that easy.
My classroom is ready (mostly). I have my lesson plans written. I start teacher's institute tomorrow. School picnic on Saturday. One real day of rest on Sunday and then school begins.
It is crazy how busy/stressful all of these preparations have been. But the good kind of busy/stressful where I know exactly what I need to get accomplished I need only to find the time and energy. As opposed to the horrifying stress of knowing that you have tons to do and not only do I not know where to start, I don't even know what needs to be done. But this has been good and busy. But crazily enough I feel ready.
I have been counting down the days. Countdowns are such crazy things. Usually a person who is under this kind of pressure is counting down to the end. To the completion of the stressful situation. Instead I find myself counting down to the beginning. To the start of the school year. This is good, because of the excitement and anticipation that it builds. Teachers need as much excitement as possible for the start of the school year. But it is bad if I come to dread school or view it only as a paycheck. In order to be successful at this I need to do more than survive or cope. In order to be successful I need to be excellent, exemplary. I plan to be good at this. I plan on succeeding. I plan on staying on top, on getting ahead, on allowing the illusion to continue.
I feel ready. And tomorrow it begins. I can't wait.
Baby Bird
Poor, poor, baby.
I came home from a church thing last night to find a baby bird on my doorstep. He had either fallen or been pushed out of his nest above my door. He was so small. I wrapped him up in a washcloth to keep him warm. I tried calling a couple of people to figure out what I should do to help him. No one knew. Evidently my friends are not the sort to successfully help small creatures. So I went and eventually found Karra who has work experience as a wildlife rescue helper person. So she had some good ideas about where we could get some help from. But no one was available to help on a Sunday night. So I took him home and determined that I would keep him alive until morning when somebody who knew what they were doing could help.
But he didn't make it that long. I felt truly terrible. I shouldn't have put him down. He was doing just fine while I was holding him. I don't think that he had any broken bones, he was moving around pretty well, he just seemed real tired. I think he was perhaps internally injured. Poor, poor baby.
The stupid web site said that I shouldn't "handle" him and it was best to make a "nest" for him to lay in. I should have held him. He was doing fine when I held him. I hate it when I don't go with my gut instinct. Instead I put him in a shoe box where he died.
It was pitiful. I hate how death looks. I mean, why can't it just look more like sleep? But it doesn't, there is something so much more vacant about death. You can feel it before your eyes detect it. I hate how death transforms the familiar into the unrecognizable. I hate being so certain.
I miss my poor, poor baby. I didn't want him to die. I wanted to take care of him. I can't believe how much this matters to me right now. It is pitiful.
poor, poor baby
a book was born
a book was born of some cold heart
conceived in love (or love perceived)
but love conceived was not born
for righteous doubt took hold
aborted love song was delivered
stillborn, premature
abandoned on a doorstep
left behind
fled from
for the wise flee youthful desires
that part of me is dead now
i know of no other way to tell you
i left
i killed
with premeditated intention
i am guilty and pleased to be so
a book was born of some soft heart
conceived in hope (a hope forgotten)
and was abandoned
waiting to be found
discovered, yes
accepted, no
a clear line drawn
not in shifting sand but
stone
for this is war
a war of souls
and i will win
for I AM loved
A Compliment
I just found this old blog... It somehow seemed appropriate.
Monday, April 22, 2002
I was teaching Sunday School yesterday, Amanda asked when we were going to have the auction and I said that it would be after I finished school for the semester, I had three visitors in my class and one of these young men asked me if I was in college so I was explaining that I would graduate in December of 2003 and he asked me what I was going to be "when you grow up" (it was so cute) so I giggled and said that I was going to be a teacher, I want to teach 5th or 6th grade. Then Melanie pipes up and says, "You will be a really good teacher." That little girl just made my day! Melanie has not been on my good side for several moths now, she is always talking with Morgan and Parker and she can be very rude to Amanda, Victoria and Cherish, and her an Caleb bicker like they are siblings! But I live for the moments when I can see the good of these kids, sadly I hadn't seen that in Melanie in a while and I was beginning to get rather discouraged with her but then, this week she paid me a compliment, I got one very brief glimpse of her sweet self and then her other self returned, but it didn't matter because by then I was in a really good mood and I could deal with her.
It is amazing how far a compliment can go!
Fingerprinting
Today I had to go to the Police Department to be fingerprinted. Yuck. What a mess. The ink was a mess, I mean...not the situation. I was only there for a background check to be completed for my employer. Now would be a really good time for them to find out that I am an axe-murderer or something, now that they have given me the keys to the building and all of my curriculum. Lucky enough for them, I am pretty sure that the finger prints are going to yield nothing of interest.
However, being surrounded by as many police officers as I was I have come to realize that perhaps Jordan is right...maybe I do have a fear of police officers.
On to more interesting topics...I miss dating. Thursdays are a good night to go out. And since I took a nap this afternoon I am feeling overly full of energy. However, the problem with dating is that it requires some level of commitment of which I want nothing whatsoever to do with right now. All I want is something fun to do with somebody that I like to hang out with. So maybe I don't really miss dating. What I really miss are my friends. But we are all just too busy or something. Schedules: you can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em.
Well, I suppose I could run some errands, seeing as how Nikki hasn't stopped by yet I am assuming that her blind date is going relatively ok and she doesn't need me to hang out here waiting for her anymore. So off I go.
2nd Drawer to the Right (and straight on to insanity)
So I had this wonderful idea that was going to make my life so much easier. But ever since that idea entered into my way of thinking it has caused nothing but chaos. Does that ever happen to anyone but me? That which was meant to save you is that which kills you in the end? It is like being murdered by your bodyguard. Double-crossed by your advisors. Betrayed by a friend. E tu Brute? Yes, yes, I do have a flare for the dramatic! :-)
So the great idea was that since I have acquired so many new teaching tools/supplies in the recent past and since I have newly made a move into my classroom...I had no idea where to put all of my stuff...and once I had found a place for it, I forgot where it was. This is kind of a problem. So I gave birth to the life saving idea that is now killing me. I would index everything.
EVERYTHING has a card with its name at the top in black, bold sharpie marker and the directions/location of the item written in black ink underneath. For example, if you are looking for staples you find the card that it titled "
Staples" and there it says "Desk- 2nd drawer to the right" Then each card is alphabetized and stored in an index box for quick and handy reference. It was a great idea. And man, could it be helpful if I ever finish it. Right now I am just worried that it will kill me before that ever happens. Because, there are ever so many things to index. It is an
endless task.
Instead of traveling to
Neverland this evening I shall be labeling index cards and heading strait to insanity by way of the 2nd drawer on the right.
Kate's (John's?) Party
It was Kate's party tonight, or was it? Basically we were all there to meet John, so maybe it was his party. I, for one, am still in denial that she is actually going anyplace, anytime soon. But maybe that is just me.
She asked me what I thought, she should know better.
For
one thing, I didn't really even meet the poor guy. I mean I shook his hand, generally nodded in his direction at random points throughout the evening but really I was just soaking up InterVarsity people whom I had not seen in forever. I had missed them greatly and it was so good to get to hang out with them again. I suppose that this is probably a fault of mine: always navigating to the old and familiar instead of reaching out and embracing the new. For while it is true that I have not seen these near and dear friends in quite some time, it is perhaps more important that this may be one of the only times that I ever have to get to know this man that my friend is going to marry.
Point
two, in why Kate should know better is that I highly avoid making a judgment on a person so soon in the game. She expects me to give a thumbs up or a thumbs down after one event? I don't think so. What if tonight was a really bad night for John? Or what if this was his version of sucking up? Nope. I will save my judgment call for later, thank-you very much.
Number
three, is why does she care anyhow? Is she going to marry him or isn't she? Now in one respect I get it. It is good to have your friends'/family's approval...however, would my opinion change her mind, one way or the other?
I should certainly hope not.
She is the one that has to live with him...not me.
She is the one that talks with him.
She is the one that knows him. My opinion is trivial at best, no matter how strong our friendship is. Which leads me right into...
Point
four, being that if I were to have a negative opinion how could I express that to her? I love her. And she has made it more than clear on several occasions that she plans to marry this boy. It is the age old problem, where your friend tells you that they have just broken up with or been dumped by their boyfriend only to hear from all of their closest friends "good, he wasn't good enough for you anyway." or "I never did like him" or "he just didn't seem your type." Why was this never mentioned to the girlfriend while she was in the relationship? Two reasons: 1) would she have listened? Love may not be blind but it is most assuredly deaf. 2) What would happen to the friendship if she decided to stay with the "dumb boy" or marry him even? The friendship would be limited at best...or more likely, aborted entirely.
Kate has set us up. There is no way to tell her the truth unless we agree with her whole heartedly. Because to reject John is not to dislike a temporary whim, but to disapprove of her husband, her one flesh. She has already made it clear to all of us that any doubts that she may have- we are not worthy to hear. She loves her story. She loves her boy. She wants us to approve, as a formality.
I never have been good at falling into the lockstep of formality, it is all too foreign to me. Kate knows that. That is why she got a non-answer in response to her question. She knows better. I cannot approve, just to approve. I cannot reject, just to reject. And I am forced to hide my feelings just in case they should offend my friend.
This blog probably offends her. Kate, if you are still reading this thing, I love you. I love the people who love you, no matter who they are. And that, my dear, is the only answer that you are getting from me tonight.
Voluntarism
I heard a radio segment on teens volunteering their time and that made me want to give some more consideration to how I can get my students to volunteer. I am still brainstorming on this one.
Also, my school has some sort of Christmas outreach thing every year. I guess that the classroom teachers are each responsible for finding a project for their students to take part in. I need to start giving that some thought too. I want them to be actively involved. I wonder if I could have us sponsor a child through
Compassion or
World Vision. Usually there is some sort of introductory packet or video. Then the students could write to our sponsor child, the sponsored kids always write beautiful letters witch pictures and everything. Which would be more authentic writing. But how would the money thing work out? We could do fundraisers on a regular basis. The cost is usually very minimal about $25-30 per month per sponsored child. But this would not be something that we would only do over Christmas, this would be a long term commitment. Plus, what would happen at the end of the school year? If we only had one or two I could pay over the summers but I am not sure how I would go about selling each new class on it. hmmm. It gives me something to think about.
Lauren
Lauren is back in town with her husband Tom. I am hoping that we will be able to build on our former roommate relationship. But I had feared that my job was going to conflict or inhibit that from happening. I need to realize that while I intend to be busy (for I intend to be good!) that does not mean that I need to be consumed. However, even now I am beginning to wonder just how much I have already committed myself to, helping with the youth group at church, possibly co-leading a small group (still some big "ifs" there), at the least attending a small group, working on the Capital Campaign as a table host, my weeks are starting to fill up fast.
Anyway, I got to ride with Lauren to and from Kate's party (more on that later). And I had a really great time with her. She said that she really wanted to come and see my classroom soon, to get the "before" effect. Then (miracle of all miracles!) she volunteered to help me with preparation stuff. I was so excited. It has seemed such an overwhelming task that I really had no place to start. But with a bit of help, I can go a long way. If nothing else she has inspired me to kick my butt into gear. Thanks, Lauren. And if she really can come and help I will be truly grateful.
Using Weblogs in the Classroom
I just had the most fantastic, if not the most obvious, of wonderful ideas! As with most really great ideas I am sitting here thinking, "I cannot believe that I hadn't thought of that before now..." Anyway, it was as I was reading through the NCTE's
Council Chronicle about the upcoming convention that I will be unable to attend due to lack of funding that I made this discovery. I was reading up on all of the middle school topics and workshops that will be held over the long weekend and I was noticing how many technology topics there were, which I found to be very pleasing. And that got me to brainstorming about how I can incorporate technology into my classroom. I then began reading about how to help adolescent males more interested in reading. More brainstorming. I further read about writing workshops, in particular, authentic writing situations. It is at this point that I reached my epiphany.
Wouldn't I be able to reach out to reach of these areas by using blogs in the classroom? Students would be developing and using technology skills. Computers tend to be of high interest to both genders. And weblogs would be a wonderfully authentic outlet for writing. I could select certain, appropriate blogs as examples. Some assignments could be completed on the blog. Other times the students would be allowed to free write. I am thinking that it would be kind of like SSR (Silent Sustained Reading) but instead SSW (Silent Sustained Writing) where the only requirements would be productivity. They select what to write, I select when. Blogs would be easy to check for completeness. I could even be an administrator on each account. They could design their layout and profiles. I could have them work as teams or small groups or they could work independently. Oh, it could be so much fun. Now I just have to figure out how to make it all work.
Peter's Blog
Jordan told me to go and check out Pete's blog. Pete was a part of Mitchell, and was partially responsible for the lyrics of the band that I so briefly had the opportunity to appreciate. Anyhow, I figured that since he wrote some pretty good songs, checking out his blog now that he is living in Costa Rica would be rather cool. Plus, Jordan keeps mentioning it.
Now, I have met Pete before only briefly and I have seen him at shows, but there is really something about the way that he writes, something that makes you feel connected. Like you too are a part of his struggle, or the struggle that he observes.
I like his blogs because they are not boring recitations of the day. They are thoughtful and purposeful, maybe he intends that, maybe not. I check back to read his observations because they seem pure: not all wrapped up in solving a problem, adding assumptions, or drawing up conclusions. But he can paint for you what he sees. And you see experience it. It's worth the time.
Some entries are colorful vingets,
others read more like a deep allegory,
all let you step into another world.
I put a link to Pete's blog under "Blog that I read"
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Love actually
I just watched the movie Love Actually with my great former roomate and her husband. They just moved back to the area and I love them for it. Hopefully we will be seeing a lot of each other in the upcomming weeks and months. Anyhow, I cried. Surprise, surprise.
So many people told me that I should watch it. And wait till you see this part or that part they'd say. But I got so wrapped up in the storries that I entirely forgot. And now after just having watched it I cannot even begin to recall what each of them wanted me to get from that movie. I mean I liked it but I really cannot see why so many people thought that I in particular would gain something from watching it...I didn't see whatever it was. I don't see as how it is in any way applicable to me. Anybody want to comment on that one?
35 hours and counting
I have been awake for 35 hours straight and I am still up. I don't think that I have had any caffeine today but I really couldn't tell you, for while I am awake I am in some disconnected state of being. I am tired but not sleepy. I am spending the night at Kate's, I think, she isn't feeling up to driving me home tonight, I am good with that. Sleeping anywhere is better than not sleeping... :-) I will go to sleep soon.
When I wake up I will try to make more sense of all of this.
gosh, my fingers look long
I get it...I am a little slow
friends
me experimenting
